Therapy? Is it working? How long??

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 4/23/2009 10:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Ive been in therapy since early Feb...I cant tell if its helping or not. Im starting to think thats its not making a difference. She keeps asking me what makes me feel depressed. I DONT KNOW. I simply dont know... So, perhaps its all about my chemicals. Maybe I do have a chemical imbalance and thats the reason for the way I feel, not specific. Im just not sure, cause therapy is going very strangley. Im not sure she is being 100% serious and really taking it in. Shes not encouraging me the way my school counselor did. She doesnt offer advie as to what I can do to help myself feel better. I just realized that she doesnt do that! lol Realization... hmm....
So, is it working? I wonder.... How long does it take to see a difference? Im going to assume its different for everyone...but I just wonder how long its going to take me...if/when Im going to feel some relief.
Im having more bad days now and often I think of things I shouldnt. Im just feeling really discouraged and I needed to talk about it some so here I am.... I really want to go to sleep, but I have been having problems sleeping lately. Im so exhausted but cant/dont get any sleep.. What am I supposed to do? I feel as if I have exhausted all the options, good and bad. What do I do next? Live with it, deal with it...?? What am I supposed to do....? ='[
Anyways, I just needed to talk about it, so I did. I appreciate the support. Take Care. The weekend cant come any faster...
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/23/2009 10:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christi,

I've had experience with a few therapists, and it took me a while to find the right one for me. Once I found her, I felt that I was making progress pretty much immediately. I realize that everyone's experience with depression and with therapists is different......but I do wonder if maybe this person is not a good match for you. Only you can decide that, of course. I'm just going by what you've said.....things like, "I'm starting to think that it's not making a difference", "therapy is going very strangely", "I'm not sure she is being 100% serious"....etc..

Re: the lack of sleep, I can totally relate to that! I've had troubles with insomnia throughout my life. AND...I find that adequate sleep makes all the difference in the world as to how I am able to cope with things, my mood, and generally my whole outlook on my situation. I would say that should be your first priority, even before deciding what to do about the therapist. I use all sorts of things now to help me sleep....meditation, relaxation breathing, soft music/relaxation CDs.....and I do find that prayer helps me to relax and give up the troubles of the day so that I can unwind myself enough to fall asleep. I also have noticed that the more exercise and fresh air I get during the day, the more likely I am to have a decent sleep at night. Those are just a few suggestions. I hope you can find a way to get some rest, because that will help you to deal with your daily struggles. And I also hope that you will be able to find a more compatible therapist, if you decide to change. I wish you sweet dreams and peaceful slumber.
Living one day at a time. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 4/23/2009 11:50 PM (GMT -6)   
I think Raniah gave you some really great suggestions & I can't add anything to that.

I think a lot of people would share your experience of school counselors being very different from private counselors. I'm not sure what all the reasons for that are, but they do have different trainings & also the school counselors get feedback from teachers, parents & other students that a private counselor would not have access to.

For me personally, I have found that I do better with behavioral psychologists rather than psychoanalytical counselors/psychologists. It sounds from what you've described like you probably have a counselor who uses mostly a psychoanalytical approach with you now (& perhaps a little cognitive therapy-- maybe?). It might be worthwhile to first off ask your counselor if she can give you more advice/feedback during your sessions & if she could offer more encouragement to you. Not all counselors are comfortable doing that. Some feel they aren't properly trained & those techniques & will refuse. Others will gladly change course and start interacting with you in a different manner. Either way, I think it could benefit you to at least see if it's a possibility.

If she says she just doesn't feel qualified to do that kind of therapy, perhaps you could ask for a referral. If she can't offer one, you might try contacting your high school counselor to see if she might have some references.

I do wish you the best of luck. Some people do really just need medication, but that's pretty rare & especially since you found the experience with your high school counselor helpful I would say that is less likely to be the case with you -- probably there is some counselor out there who could be helpful. But counseling, like any relationship, does take work & lots of communication so I really want to encourage you to be open & honest with your current counselor at your next session about what you're thinking, feeling & wanting. If nothing else, it will be good practice being able to describe your needs for the next person.

best wishes,

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/24/2009 7:13 AM (GMT -6)   

Good Morning  Christi,

I agree that it does take the right therapist and the right patient to make a good connection.  I had 2 therapists that I really worked well with and the third one was much like you described.........  She would just ask me how my week was and what was upsetting me leaving me to flounder and try to think of something to say.  I did not feel her style did me any justice as I always came away feeling like I had to come up with a " good response" for my next session or I was failing Therapy 101.

Do not hesitate to seek out a different therapist and ask going in what kind of therapy this person practices. You will want to know your therapists treatment philosophy and what are their treatment methods? You may not be at all familiar with this topic but if the therapist seems a rigid adherent to one philosophy or treatment, this is a warning signal. In general, if the therapist is a psychoanalyst you will spend a long time in therapy but if she is a cognitive and/or behavioral therapist, the therapy will be relatively short and time limited.

I hope this helps you and please know I am here for you.

Gentle Hugs



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