Hi again, IH8Ticks,
I know what you mean about
analzying versus actively working on solutions and achieving positive change. That is what has been good about
CBT for me. It has given me a framework in which I can identify my self-defeating thoughts and work on changing these thoughts, which ultimately changes my perception of things. It takes practice, for sure, but in my commitment to that practice I know that I am actively doing something to help myself, and I have seen positive results as well.
Karen makes a good point about
taking one day at a time. So much of depression has to do with that feeling of 'overwhelm', in my opinion anyhow, and taking things in small portions is the only way I can handle my life. Perhaps that is true for you, as well. I also find that making a mental note of the small steps and accomplishments through the day helps me to focus on the positive, which is always a good thing when my natural inclination is to focus more on the negative.
As far as finding a free clinic, I would maybe ask the hospitals or check online. The clinic I go to is affiliated with a hospital in a nearby city.
Please stay with us, and keep posting as you feel up to it. The members here are really good at offering suggestions as to how to handle specific issues, and I think you'll find this to be a warm and compassionate place.
Living one day at a time.