Welcome to the forum. I can tell how much you're hurting, and I'm truly sorry. It's true that drinking isn't good when a person is depressed, as alcohol itself is a depressant, and it's a slippery slope to becoming addicted to it. I do understand, as I used to use alcohol to numb myself from my overwhelming feelings of despair. I can tell you from experience that it makes things worse in the long run, as I am sure you already know. Have you talked to your husband about
your feelings? Is he supportive? I would recommend speaking to your doc about
your troubles, and perhaps he/she could prescribe something to help you and/or recommend a counselor who could provide you with a listening ear and good solutions to help you to heal. I would like to hear more about
your story if you feel comfortable sharing it. This is a wonderful and compassionate place to talk, and I hope you will come back again.
Living one day at a time.