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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 5/4/2009 12:43 AM (GMT -6)   
hi i want to apologize now b4 u read i may jump around on the topic. i thought i was under control of my anxiety and depression but lately i feel like ive been slipping. the main trigger that upsets me is my roommate/ cousin. it makes me sick my cuz in a one week time has sex with 4 separate girls who r unknowing of each other. it puts me on the spot .one of the girls is really nice sweet girl i just feel bad more so when she comes over after my cuz just hooked up with some other girl.when its a different girl is over every night and i have to hear them have fun in the next room. he is such a scum bag and yet girls r all over him . wth . i know that there is such thing as being 2 nice but thats all i know. ive been told by a few girls im the type of guy that a girl settles down with. ive been told dont try to meet girls so i didnt try at all but i hate being alone. i havent had a date in a yr and a half. i feel kinda pathetic . i go through phases where i feel really good about myself very confident and then i feel the complete oppisite . its so hard to stay positive when i keep getting rejected by every girl i talkto. i try changing the type of girls i talked to maybe i was looking for the wrong type but now idont know what to think

sad scotty shakehead

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/4/2009 9:07 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear Scotty,

I am sorry you are allowing your cousin's behavior to upset you.  Remember we cannot control the behavior of another and if you feel strongly about his behavior you have a couple of choices.  First of all you can just cut ties with him and not hang out together as he is not behaving in a manner you can tolerate so move on and let him be to live his own life.

Or you can be assertive and talk to him about how you feel.  I am not sure at his age and with his behavior that he is going to be open to discussion with you but it is your way of letting him know how you feel.  Just don't expect that he is going to change.

Now for girlfriends, it feels to me like you are over thiniking it.  Just relax and be yourself.  You do not have to be the sounding board for your cousin's girlfriends or feel it is your duty to save them.  Concentrate on living your own life and maintaining your self esteem.  You are a good person so please  believe in who you are.  Whenever you start to feel that self esteem slip, remind yourself..............."I am a good and kind person" 

I hope you find some help in my words and that you will move on with your own life and not feel responsibile for how others live their lifes. 

"You are not the momentary whim of a careless creator experimenting in the laboratory of life. . . You were made with a purpose." ~ Og Mandino ~




Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Co-Moderator Depression
Moderator: GERD/Heartburn
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 5/4/2009 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   

I agree with Kitt,

You can't control what your cousin does. Though it sounds like he is a scumbag as you put it. Bringing home all these different girls. And it sounds like one is very nice. I understand how you hate to see her treated the way he is treating her. Maybe you could talk to her one day and let her know how it is to be treated by somebody that cares.

Also you can't save the world from people like your cousin. It sounds like he will contiue this way of life for a while. Maybe one day he will change, but it sounds like he is enjoying this too much to change anythime soon. Maybe you could find other things to do when he brings the girls home.

I hope that the situation changes for you, take it with stride. Try to ignore it. I know that you will find the right girl for you, but ususally when you least expect it.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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