First of all, let me congratulate you on getting through your first year of optometry school. That is so great!!!! I hope you feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment, because you should. Good for you.
Secondly, I want to offer you my sympathies about
the situation with your dad. I pray that the tumor is benign, and that the surgery to remove the tumor will go smoothly.
Re: the situation with Isaac……it sounds like things started off alright. The place in your post where I see things going astray is when you invited him over for the second time. I think, perhaps, that you should have waited for an invitation from him, since your last time together was on your initiative. I realize that you were probably trying to make up for the times when you had to say ‘no’ to spending time with him prior to that, but I feel safe in saying that most men prefer to have a bit of a challenge, and they often get turned off by a woman who hands herself over on a silver platter. I say this from personal experience, believe me. And I do know……very well……the pain you are going through. No one likes to be taken for granted, and no one likes to be rejected after putting their heart on the line.
I’m glad that he brought condoms when you slept together. Thank goodness for that. I’m assuming by the wording of your post that he told you AFTER you had sex that he wasn’t interested in having a relationship. That must have hurt, and I’m so sorry.
After this sexual encounter, you said that you assumed that he would ignore you forever, and yet you texted him a few times, after which he did not respond. Please understand that I am not judging you…..I feel so badly for you, and I truly know where you’re coming from……but I must say that when you call/email/text a man and he does not respond, you have to let it go after that. If he is interested, he will call/email/text you back. Your instincts were telling you that he would ignore you, and your instincts were right. Always trust your gut instincts, my friend….they will not steer you wrong. I say this from one woman to another, having been there myself in the past. It’s a very painful place to be.
I think you probably realize that emailing Isaac’s friend was inappropriate. You and Isaac did not have enough time or opportunity to establish a relationship, and unfortunately, you had sex before you had a chance to really know each other. You seem like a very loving and sensitive person, Confused, and you deserve MUCH better than what Isaac was offering you.
Please don’t continue to torture yourself with guilt and all the “what ifs”. The situation with Isaac is in the past now, and I hope you can find a way to let it go as you heal from this painful experience. Try to remember that a man will wait for physical intimacy if he truly cares for you. Also remember that most men enjoy a bit of the chase, and like to initiate the calling/texting/emailing, etc., especially in the early stages. I realize that I’m older than you, but I don’t think that the nature of men and women has changed all that much.
I hope you know that I don’t mean to be harsh in my suggestions to you…..I really feel for you, and want to help you. I’m glad that you have an appointment with your psychiatrist, and I really hope you will gain some comfort and perspective from that.
I wish you the very best, Confused, and hope you will feel comfortable to come back and post again.
Living one day at a time.