struggling with life
Hello and welcome to HealingWell. We have members from all over the world so you have come to the right place.
Thank you for sharing your story and IMHO what I see is a very sad person that is trapped in the depression cycle. Now is the time for you to break free and start to work on healing. We are here to help you.
It feels to me like a good place for you to start is to work on that self esteem of yours.........let us help you start to feel better about yourself.
“Low self-esteem is often characterized by an "inner critic," which is a part of you that constantly berates your efforts and belittles your achievements. Sometimes an inner critic takes on the voice of a victim ("no one will give me a chance") or a perfectionist ("I should be doing better than this"), but the end result is an ongoing drag on your self-esteem. You can counter negative self-talk by first recognizing it for what it is and then responding to it with positive counterstatements.
Look for instances where your inner critic generalizes unduly, is unremittingly harsh or makes statements that don't hold up to logic. Then write down a series of positive counterstatements that redress those criticisms. They should always involve upbeat phrases and avoid negative words like "not," "no" or "can't." Keep them in the present tense and always use first-person statements (using "I" instead of your name). Draw up a list of them and practice saying them readily. When your inner critic starts to berate you, respond with the appropriate counterstatement every time. Eventually, your counterstatements will arise naturally in your mind whenever your inner critic gets going, keeping the negativity in check.”
Here is a sample from your post.........you wrote "But that makes me feel worse because I have reasonably good health but I don't deserve it."
Turn that statement around and keep doing that everytime you realize you are putting yourself down.
Try "I feel good because I have good health and I deserve to have good health. "
I am going to post here the link to the Mood GYM. This is an online free CBT program and I would like you to give it a try.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to
feel / act better even if the situation does not change.
Again a warm welcome to HealingWell and do stick with us.
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Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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