Hi everyone, I am new here and joined because I need to talk to people who understand this monster called depression. For the past several years I have been treated by my primary care physician with meds, but have not been in therapy for about 8 years. My last attempt with a therapist was not too positive, and didn't last long because he was a little too touchy feely and he creeped me out.
Today, however, after a bad night, I called my insurance provider for a list of names of psychiatrists, feeling that I should at least see someone who knows about these kinds of meds better. I am currently on the generic of Wellbutrin, a low dose, and when I try to increase the dosage to what my doctor prescribed I get weird speech interruption problems with little jaw spasms. Anyway, the first psychiatrist on the list that I was given wasn't accepting new patients, and the next one would take 2 -3 weeks to get an appointment with. I was completely frustrated by this failure, as it was so hard for me to take this step to begin with. So I tried calling my regular doctor to see about switching meds, but he won't do that without seeing me (I have an appointment in a week).
I was diagnosed about 15 years ago at the age of 34 and it was determined that I had probably been dysthymic (sp?) as a teenager and my first major episode was at 18.
I've had relapses over the years and this latest seems somewhat serious, although my thoughts of suicide are fleeting and I don't think serious. I have been married for 6 years to a man who can be verbally abusive when he drinks, and last night we had another fight. His big issue is that I don't have a libido, and sex is extremely important to him. It's always been an issue for me, in part I'm sure because of some past abuse issues at the hands of my first husband. That's a long story but needless to say, depression and meds don't help with libido. I feel I am caught between a rock and a hard place because I don't have the financial wherewithall to leave him, which I'm not even sure I want to do at this point, but I know that this issue is not going to go away so the fights and the blame and the put-downs will continue.
So I am hoping that the doctor can put me on something different that will help me at least with my head feeling so bad. Maybe if that problem is addressed, I can find the strength to face the other problems in my life.
Thanks for reading, God's blessings to you all.