i would first, like to thank everybody for taking time off of their watches to help people like me out. it makes me feel a lot safer knowing there is a place i can come for help before i hijack an armored vehicle. it seems like there's nobody left out there. everyone is too caught up in the hustle and bustle to give a crap about the next man, and when the next man happens to be a great guy, starving artist, who's never done anything but good in his life.. who just happens to have hit rock bottom.. it gets a pretty personal.
So, I've got a sad little tale to tell.. and I haven't really.. ever talked about it. It's nothing too far out of the ordinary, but its caused me a great deal of suffering, and I would like to talk about it. So thanks again for listening!
Ok, so to the beginning. Well.. some of my first memories are of my parents being really strung out for cash. No big surprise, explains the sty in her eye, the mental collapses, the poverty, the non-stop physical, verbal, and mental abuse that went down in my child hood. It also explains the neighborhood scum she hangs around Alright, so, coming from a great kid, who understands the importance of attitude, family, and forgiveness, Gives birth my half sister (the only light in my life) in L.A., sends her back down to guatemala with her mother for 7 years, while she stays in the U.S. working as a live in maid, here and there, and winds up meeting the single biggest pansy in the universe. my father.
The rest cant even be imagined. I have had to sparatically deal with him for a year or two at a time for the past 10 years when he has no job. (I am 20 and living back at home, cant seem to keep a job)
It seems really convenient and popular these days to blame your problems on your parents.
Alright, so i was with this girl for 4 years. We loved each other, we wanted to marry, i could have proposed a million times and one. right as our 4th anniversary was about to hit, we found out she was pregnant. People were happy. Even her preacher father was ecstatic. My favorite grandmother, grandfather, and uncle, all died in a 3 month period of time. The only thing going right for me is my rollerblading. ive been doing it for 15 years. im starting to fly off of rooftops, down fire escapes. which in itself, kind of worries me. but crap, even tho i can say nobody in my life understands or appreciates me, i get a thousand claps a month from kids who are almost famous and complete strangers. so .. thats been my saving grace. is having direction.
Alright, so now the nice guy who has worked passionately at his love all his life, a ticking time-bomb of success, has become convinced that life is futile and that he'll never meet anybody to give it any meaning, and .. he might be right. Frank Sinatra once said "complete and utter success, is the ultimate revenge.". But in my case.. the only people that will feel my art are the people that it has personally, physically hurt. So all the people i want to show who i have become, and all the suffering ive been through, they wont even know whats going on.
I am just going to post this before i keep going on and on. even tho i would very much like to, ill save the novel until i learn how to write.
I am sorry I had to edit out half of your post as you have not reviewed the rules and guidelines of HealingWell. If you have any issues with the edits my email is wide open and you are welcome to email me.
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
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Thank you in advance for your understanding.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 5/13/2009 3:03:17 PM (GMT-6)