I understand what you mean….there’s a time when being funny is great, but there’s also a time when you need some serious support. It sounds like your boyfriend is not comfortable with emotional discussions (I’ve known a lot of men like that, but that is not to say they are all like that….some are very good about
listening and comforting). I know it’s frustrating, especially when you really care about
him and want to share the things that concern you. It sounds like he lets his guard down a bit when you are physically intimate, and I don’t think that’s unusual for men, either. I think some guys really feel emotional closeness when there is physical closeness. That being said, you are right: it can’t always be like that, and it would be nice to have that emotional closeness outside of the bedroom.
Re: the ex-girlfriend who was possessive and stalking him after the break-up, maybe that has made him a little gun-shy. It’s hard to say. I think you are on the right track, being aware of this, because a lot of guys get really turned off by possessive behaviour
(and girls, too….nobody likes to feel smothered!). I know you’re not like that, and that’s a good thing.
Have you two been together a long time? Sometimes it takes one person a bit longer to
open up their heart than the other person, and that may be the case with your boyfriend.
All that being said, I hope you will find the support you need from other sources, whether it be friends, family, or us here at the forum. I really do hope your boyfriend will come around, and feel more comfortable with talking about
your concerns. If not, you may have to decide whether it is something you can live with or not. In the meantime, please keep posting to us and remember that the people on here really care. I hope things will get better. (((hugs)))
“If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we are both branches on the same tree." ~W.B. Yeats