I don't know what's wrong with me...my husband thinks I'm bipolar. I'm already on Zoloft and it seems to take the edge off my anxiety and depression but doesn't fix my mood swings. Ever since I was a kid I've always felt that I wasn't good enough. I would pretend to run away and get mad when none of my family members came to find me. I felt that no one cared and I wasn't good enough...even though I knew they knew that I hadn't really run away and was only hiding behind the house.
The feeling of not being good enough is in both my personal life and my work life. Even though I'm in a management position and have been for years, I still feel that I'm not doing a good job. At home I feel that I'm not a good enough mother and wife. My house is always a mess, with toys and laundry, and I feel that I need to follow my husband and kids around 24/7 in order to pick up after them. I blame it all on them, but the truth is I don't always put everything away either. But I never see it as my fault, I always blame someone else.
I feel like I start arguments with my husband just to get attention, the same as the "running away" when I was a kid. Then I'm sorry but he's still mad at me. Nothing is fixed, just more broken.
I don't know how to help myself. My husband recommends a different drug besides Zoloft and a psychiatrist. Does anyone else have these same issues that I struggle with and how have you taken steps to "recover"?