hi las vegas,
you have a bit going on. i am no doc but am very skilled in a similar area to you, i feel that your level of focus is possibly causing a locus of control that is impacting on tactile and mental areas. due to your acumen and awareness the medico's differential is somewhat hightened by your close understanding of what is medically happening with your body and within yourself. some doc's don't like articulate people, this i found out, as my intellect and academic awareness in the area of mental health, because of this awareness i was deemed a very complex patient, thus i got turned away a lot. what is frustrating to you, the patient, is that because of complexeties within guidelined practice, he who can articulate what is happening, and can use cause and affect, with presenting the effect are deemed not as bad of as someone presenting with no idea.
dying, well in my own realm of thinking, w are born, we age (decay) and we die. i wish you well, focus on the here and now, this may settle your mind a bit. jamie, male 37.
iddm, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder, lombroscal spine, diabetic nuropathy, hormone deficency, water work issues.