hi im new to this site, but im hoping to find it helpful. i have depression and anxiety, among a host of other chronic illnesses. i am in constant physical pain, as well as, emotional pain. there are things going on in my family that are very sad, worrisome, frustrating,etc, that i really cant do anything about
. that doesnt stop me from feeling like , if only i could come up with the perfect thing to do or say, everything would be bbetter. i am always "what iffing" situations. i feel scared alot of the time about
1 family member or aanother.there r some situations that will in all probability end badly. if so , there will be ripple effects and i will not want to watch what happens to those still in the water. i worry more about
what will happen to them than to myself.i cant stand just living , waiting for the shoe to drop. i know i need to live in the present and take each day as it comes, but its difficult. i rack my brain and pray to God that i will do and say the right things. if someone dies or something else terrible happens and i havent done or said everything i thing i should have, ill never forgive myself. im ocd so telling me just stop thinking about
wont cut it. (thats what my husband does.) i know i need to just turn it over to God, but thats so hard for me., even on my meds. ive been having a lot of panic attacks and i can feel myself spiraling downward. im also mildly bi-polar so i really have 2 b careful. i feel like im on the edge and i literally have NO ONE to talk to. if anyone out there wants to answer, please do. id love to hear from you.