I’m glad you came to join us here, and that you felt comfortable in sharing your story. You sound like a thoughtful and caring person, and I’m sorry to know that you are hurting like this.
First of all, about
your Nan’s death….you have my sympathies. It’s really hard to lose a loved one, especially someone you were close to, and I know it can take a long time to go through the grieving process. It took me a few years from the time of my mom’s death before I could look at photos of her….it was just too painful….so I do understand what you mean in your post.
Regarding the boy you were involved with who went to your school….I am so glad to know that you ended the relationship. No one has the right to bully or control another person like that, and yes, that is a form of abuse. Controlling people will often do whatever they can to isolate a person from friends and loved ones, so I am not surprised that you were isolated in your situation, due to your ex’s behaviour
. I hope he does not continue to harass you in this way….if he does, I hope you will report it to a school counselor or the principal.
I know that you are afraid to date other boys because of this experience, and that is understandable. Give yourself some time to heal from this, and please remember that you did the right thing by breaking it off. What happened between you was not your fault, and you did nothing to deserve such horrible treatment. There are boys out there who are not abusive and controlling like this, and I hope once you have taken the time to get past this experience, you will feel able to date someone else….someone who will be kind and gentle to you, and who will respect you in the way that you deserve.
Some of the things you describe that you are feeling really do sound like depression to me, but I am certainly not an expert….I can only relate based on what my experiences have been. It seems like you don’t feel comfortable talking about
this with your mother, but I hope you will reconsider. Perhaps there is a counselor or a trusted teacher at school that you could confide in. Of course, you can always come here and talk…..people here are really understanding and supportive.
The others have suggested seeing a doctor, which I think is a really good idea. I know it’s hard to
open up about
these things, but it’s important to take good care of your physical and emotional health.
I hope you will come back and share some more with us. I wish you the very best, and I hope you will reach out for some help and feel better about
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." ~Marcel Proust