Okay, I would like to take this time to update you guys on whats been going on and why I havent been on so much. I really dont have an explanation, just that I have been distracted by myself.
I finally went to the doc today. I have had the appt since March 3rd so I wasnt going to miss it. It was interesting. We talked for about an hour or so.. It seemed easier talking to him now that I have been seeing my therapist for a few months. I feel I did a good job explaining things to him. I did a good job cause he asked how I felt and when I said nervous.. he said he couldnt even tell. I have gotten better at talking.. and Im good at hiding my nerves!
Anyways, he said it was too early for him to be certain but he said he "thought" he could narrow it down to what I could have. Other than a simple depression anxiety.. etc. But, one interesting thing was he showed me a book and let me read 2 parts. One was dysthymia(sp?) and the other borderline personality. Crazy, cause at one point I thought I had borderline.... too much research. But, it was ironic. I seem to fit the other better, but have signs from each.. so, he said not to hold him accountable right now for a diagnoses.
Moving along, I take Paxil and it helped my social anxiety. Well, I made the choice to get off it and try something else. So, I have to quit taking it... basically cold turkey. And once I tried that because I had already missed 2 days in a row and thats about the half-life and I started feeling HORRIBLE and thats when I realized I had missed taking it... Well, he made it VERY clear that I will feel (in his words, bluntly) "AWFUL." And, thats true because I know.. And he gave me a script for Cymbalta. Or whatever the generic is... and when I quit my Paxil and give myself a few days to feel AWFUL, then I can start taking it... I have to go back in a week to see his nurse. And 3 weeks to see him.
I am kind of nervous about it because I have never had a bad reaction to anything before and I hear so much about peoples reaction to these type of meds and to be honest, Im kind of scared of how I will take it. I mean, the reality of getting off one and feeling bad and then starting another and not knowing how it will make me feel has really hit me.. So, Im very nervous, yet anxious, to start it. I dont want to have the extreme side effects like im jumping out of my skin or suicidal thoughts and craziness ya know... I can handle nausea and sleepiness and all that. But, never had to deal with the extreme so Im scared..
Well, I always to make these short, but I always fail... So, thats basically everything for now. Thanks
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart
no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to
smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."