I just wanted to say that I am in the same boat as you are -- albeit a few years older. Lost my job in the second round of lay-offs, losing my home, deep in debt, not sleeping, feeling really worthless.
I'm sure I don't have any advice to offer you. Just wanted to commiserate. Things are rough, there is no doubt about
that. Karen & Kitt gave you some really great advice. They have been really helpful & encouraging to me, so hopefully you find some wisdom & solace in their words as well. Keep trying to find work. I have taken a job with a temp agency that at least helps out a little bit, but my b-day present today was a phone call & letters from the mortgage company saying they are starting foreclosure proceedings against me. I feel so ashamed. I should have never bought a home unless I could pay the whole amount. It is really hard to feel so weak. I feel like I've somehow failed & yet I don't quite know how I could prevent this from happening again which is really disconcerting.
I will say this... it is entirely possible that all of your symptoms are caused by depression, but there are a lot of other causes that could be contributing to them as well so it may be worthwhile to see a primary care doctor to get checked out, if you haven't already done so. I am trying to find an in-network endocrinologist right now b/c I have a thyroid problem & it is just making everything seem worse -- plus I think it actually IS making some things worse. Mood swings -- sleep disorders -- appetite disruption -- hot & cold flashes. I just feel horrible. But I know if I can prioritize my money to put my health first that other things will start to fall into place. There are ways to get free healthcare, sliding scale healthcare or payment plans to ensure that you get the treatment you need, whether it is for a medical condition, or for depression. Please do take care of yourself first, b/c everything else will be so much easier if you do that.
I was given that advice by others here on the forum, & while I still have to work on my thyroid, I have been working on other issues & things are getting easier. I got a long-term temp job & while it's not ideal, it is steady money & is enough to get me a fighting chance with things (hopefully maybe even work something out with my worthless lender, once I get started with the job next week). I know I still have a long ways to go, but I am making progress. I want to encourage you that it is possible for you to get through this as well. Just take things one thing at a time. Maybe not everything will work out & probably nothing will work out as you would like it to, but most things will somehow get better. You sound like a very bright person & you will always have that to fall back on. Use every bit of knowledge that you have or can acquire. Things will improve slowly but surely & your life will go on. You still have most of the years ahead of you & have a lot of time to still make some really amazing contributions to this world. Who knows what you will be doing when you are 50 or 60? You don't have to accomplish it all by age 30. :)
I can attest that life does go on even if your life is a mess in your 20's. I had a major medical set-back, had to change careers in my 20's, lost a number of friends & got really depressed. I thought for sure that life was over & if my life was such a mess when I was young & energetic that what would my life be like when I was older & had less energy. But honestly, your energy will go up as you get healthier -- physically, mentally or both. Even though you're getting older, you learn simpler ways to accomplish the same goals & you learn that all the stupid little details just don't matter at all. So your potential to do something really meaningful is still ahead of you -- and for that matter, ahead of me. Hang in there! Don't give up now! Things will get better if you just keep working at it. I'm sure it doesn't look or feel like that's possible right now, but I have been down that road & it definitely is.
I do hope you will keep posting with us. Stay strong!
Post Edited (Frances_2008) : 6/9/2009 10:06:33 PM (GMT-6)