Welcome aboard the HW forums! Nice to meet you.
Maybe you should relax a bit more, try to stop the worrying. Easier said than done though. But it seems like you want a lot, a better job, a new house, childcare, money, etc. Maybe you should try to think more about
what you already have, things as physical health, relatives, friends, and of course a wonderful kid. If we could choose, we all had the best jobs, infinite money, everything, but we can't always choose. I don't know your situation, but if you have a place to stay and a good environment for the baby to grow up, you already have the most important things I believe. You are no losers at all for having a "dumbass" job as you named it, or living with your parents.
What really helps me is to name the things I am grateful of having. For instance now, I am grateful to have a computer I can use. And I am grateful for my clothes. And when I find that I lack something, I imagine all those people who have far less, but are still happy. Who would you choose to be? A billionaire who spends his days in anger and discontent to gather more, or a happy poor fellow who spends his days in happiness? If you can try to be happy with what you have, that would be the best start to make. Just name the things, try to name as many as you can.
Sorry if this didn't help you much Evelyn, I know I can be way too theoretical, that is just how my mind works. If there is anything I can do for you, make sure to let me know OK?
Hold on my friend, and things will be better
Moderator on the Depression Forum
The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.