Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry for the pain and confusion you’re going through. I haven’t had a depressed spouse, but I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life, so I’ll offer what I can in the way of support and/or advice!
First of all, I noticed that your wife is on antidepressants, but only under advisement of her GP, and without individual counseling. I really feel strongly that having counseling which is separate from your couples’ counseling would help her, especially with what seems to be a real mixture of emotions and an unpredictable pattern to them. No matter what she decides to do in your situation, she could really benefit from some one-on-one professional support, in my opinion.
Please don’t beat yourself up for feeling angry during your couples’ counseling session. I would imagine that you are frustrated with the idea that she is giving up, when you want so badly to work things out in your marriage. You might be right about
her thoughts and decisions being clouded by the depression, and maybe she is still in love with you. That being said, she will have to make up her own mind about
her treatment choices, her living arrangements, and how she wants to handle the marriage from her side of it. You can encourage her to get some counseling, and tell her how you feel about
working things out, and be supportive to her when the two of you talk.
You can also be there for *yourself*, which is equally important, PS. Being with someone who is depressed is very difficult, and you know yourself how powerless you can feel to help, when all you can do at times is try to avoid upsetting the person. I know you feel badly about
losing the business and getting caught up in online games, but that is in the past now, and you must try to focus on the present, and what you can do to make your life better right now.
Please come back and post with us some more, as you feel up to it. I wish you the very best, and hope that things will improve for you soon.
Moderator, Depression Forum
“Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.” ~Kahlil Gibran