Break-ups can be really painful…..there’s no doubt about
it. And having this experience with your first love makes it even more so. What Jamie said is true…..a person with an illness is still a person. I know you feel you didn’t know enough about
paranoid schizophrenia, but I don’t want you looking back now and beating yourself up over that. We learn things over time, and it sounds to me like you did the best that you could.
One thing that is important to keep in mind, with anyone regardless of their health or state of mind: if the person you love is doing things that are damaging to you or your health or self-esteem, you have to do what is best for you, which sometimes means breaking up. You’ve mentioned ‘horrible arguments and difficult problems’ and the fact that your boyfriend did some serious things which prompted your teachers to tell him to stay away from you. IMO, those are red flags, and I think you did what is best by distancing yourself from him. It will be up to him to get the help he needs.
I hope you have someone to confide in, Holleee…..maybe a trusted friend, a teacher, your parents or even a counselor. It’s natural to feel grief after the loss of an important relationship, and it will take time to get past it, but you might feel a bit better talking it out with someone.
Please keep posting and let us know how it goes. We’re here for you.
Moderator, Depression Forum
“Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.” ~Kahlil Gibran