Thank you so much for your clarification re your husband's hospitalization.
You have received wonderful words of wisdom from Karen and Raniah. I agree with them, you need to take care of you right now.
I am going to try to give you some helpful hints to do just that to help you get through this difficult time.
Try to expand and strengthen your individual network of support from family and friends. You’re going to need on-going support and encouragement, so resist the urge to try to carry the burden of your husband's depression silently on your shoulders by yourself.
Let your family and friends know how they can help you and let them know what challenges you are facing. The worst thing you can do is to isolate yourself from others. Coming here and talking to us was a brave thing to do and one way of reaching out for support so do keep talking to us.
Take the team approach toward managing your husband's depression and say, “We’re in this together—we’re a team!” You want your husband to feel the energy and power of team support.
Now one of the toughest things of all, learn to de-personalize your spouse’s behavior. Remind yourself that your husband is ill—and that’s different from being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn or deliberately trying to make your life difficult.
Try to remember that your mate’s perception, attitude, actions, patience, and stamina are being impacted in major ways by the depression. When people are depressed, they often blame everyone else for their problems and see only the negatives in daily life. This is about the depression—not about you. You are a wonderful wife and yet I know you are feeling very alone and isolated having the husband that you know and love turn into this complete stranger.
Take good care of yourself in every way, lostwife, physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. You can’t afford to lose yourself and become consumed by your husband's depression.
It’s very challenging to be around negative, pessimistic, depressive energy without starting to feel the same way. The only antidote is to stay balanced and centered by practicing good self-care behavior and doing things to nurture yourself.
Please know that we are here for you and we care. My prayers for both you and your husband.
Gentle Hugs to you,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
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"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind