Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear. I have Private Mortgage Insurance because I was just shy of the 20% mark for my down payment. The Bank still holds my loan, but Freddie Mac owns it (i.e., as a 100% investor). That means that in theory I do have some extra options, but Freddie Mac will not talk directly with homeowners, they tell you that you have to work through the bank that manages the loan.
It was a good idea, thanks so much, but unfortunately it doesn't apply in my case. I certainly am early in the process & if I wanted to drag the foreclosure out another 12 months, I could do that, but honestly I just don't have it in me to fight for 12 months & then end up losing my home anyways. Right now I am pouring every last penny into a home that I am going to end up losing anyways & that is just frustrating me to no end.
I wish I could just be done with this & put it behind me. If there were a chance that I could find that fat stack of hundred that Scott referenced, maybe I could make things work, but short of winning the Lotto (which I don't even play :) there really is Zero chance that I could ever get caught up on my loan payments. So I think I need to just figure a way through this nightmare for the next 3-4 months & then say good-bye to my unhappy little home.
The upside is that I haven't been able to move for either work or school b/c I have been tied down to my mortgage. At least now, I will be free to go anywhere in the world. There is a fantastic program at the National University of Rwanda for an MA in Peace Studies with a concentration in managing shared resources (they region is all fighting over polluting the lake & overfishing) and preventing genocide (don't even need to explain that one). It is recognized as one of the premier Peace Schools in the world & I would never get to go if I still had to make mortgage payments. So I think I need to just focus on that & let go of all the mistakes of my past. It's not easy to do (esp. since that guy keeps coming back!), but I know that a brighter future awaits me -- heck, it couldn't be any worse, right? :P
It's just so hard to keep perspective. I really want this all to be over with. It is so hard to get my mind off of it. I am not sleeping very much & I have a hard time concentrating (prob. a mix of sleep deprivation & stress). I have nightmares about
this every night, so I know it cannot be healthy for me to try to hang onto my home -- nothing is worth this much stress. On the upside, all of the stress has brought my blood pressure up to high-normal (from dangerously low), but I'd rather figure another way to bring my bp up rather than by getting stressed & scared out of my mind. Oh, the troubles of this world. :|
PS- Thanks to everyone for all your sage advice. It means so much to me to be surrounded by people who are so willing to help (goodness knows I'm not getting any help from the Mortgage Company :( I really appreciate all your comments. :)
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Post Edited (Frances_2008) : 7/5/2009 5:01:10 PM (GMT-6)