I’m so glad you saw your therapist today. It sounds like you made some headway as far as pinpointing some things that are upsetting you. That’s really good….at least you know where to put your focus, and you can start making some steps as you are able.
I was really taken aback by the insensitivity of the ex’s parents. No matter what the reasons, a cancelled wedding is a devastating thing, and to think that her parents would add salt to the wound like this……well, I am stunned.
I can understand why your son is finding it difficult to avoid/erase messages from his ex, because he is a caring person like you are, and he probably hates to see anyone in pain, no matter what has happened in the past. I think that is a wonderful quality in a person, and I believe you have set a strong example of compassion as a mother. That being said, I also understand your concerns about
this lingering on. I guess it will be up to him to decide when and how to cut the ties completely.
In the meantime, you are very wise to consider talking to him about
leaving you out of it, at least for the time being. Seeing what a caring person he is, I know he would want to know your feelings about
this, and I feel sure that he will recognize your need to step back from that issue for a while. I had a very close relationship with my mother, and I truly felt honoured when she was able to tell me honestly when she needed to ‘take a break’ from certain situations about
which I was consulting her. That kind of honesty and forthrightness in an adult parent/child relationship brings a new level of support and intimacy, IMO. So….I would encourage you to talk with him about
how this is affecting you. He obviously loves you very much, and I’m sure he would want to know.
Moderator, Depression Forum
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.” ~Pliny the Elder