thank you jamie, Chartreux, Deadbees and rania for your nice words..
Deadbees, sorry to know that you have gone back to smoking, hoping that soon you will try to stop again, only when you feel it is time don't try pushing yourself. as I said I tried to stop many times and one of them was upto 18 months, this could be even one of them, but I feel strongly this time that it's time to finally put an end to this, as it will greatly improve my life. these are the main reasons I want to stop:
1. health reasons, like risk of cancer, or other lungs problems, sometimes pain in my lungs and dificulty breathing
2. my parents or whoever in the house who does not smoke, 2nd hand smoking is proven to be bad as well.
3. time waster, it seems I spend a lot of time smoking, think of how much more I can do in a day if I don't smoke..
4. seems to affect my mood, I used to feel sleepy and dizzy when I smoked a number of consequtive cigarates even though I don't need sleep at the time.. ( i.e. durring the day )
5. save money, while this should not be a big problem, but sure in the long run I could save a lot of money, as cigarates are kind of expensive here.. and I only like the imported types that are even more expensive lol.
the job, I did the second interview with a manager this time, it went well except near the end, he mentioned that some employess from the company I used to work for have also joined thm. considering I was not at my best in my last employment they will probably have negative things to say about
me when they will get asked, and he is going to ask them he said. in my last empoyment I was on and off work a few times, I would just disapear for a few months and come back when I was feeling better. they know I had depression but they didn't know I was also addicted to games and was hospitalized. on my CV I didn't metion these disruptions ( on and off work ) so the information I put there is not accurate. I have to wait and see what will happen, but it's not looking very good at the moment. I am trying not to think too much about
it, but I do... I keep telling myself if it's meant to be I will get the job, otherwise I can just continue on my job hunt and see how that works out..
the reason I didn't want to put the exact truth in my CV, is beause I dont want to freak out the employers, if I put that I was a computer addcit and was hospitalized for that on two occasions, my CV will be negleted by almost everyone... at least now they are considering me, what do you guys think did I do something wrong by hiding the times when I was not working? I don't know... I talked to my uncle he said I did not do anything worng. he said just play it out, and see what they have to say, if they find out about
me being on and off work and ask me about
it, then I could tell them I had some depression episodes, and I had to stop working for some time.. oh well, wish me luck guys, if I get the job it would be so great, I can get my life back... and even have the finances to get married finally, yeah I'm 36 now not yet married... :(
have a nice day everyone!
Former Addict of Online Video Games ( MMORPGs ) , Sober since April 6th 2008
Diagnosed with Major Depression since 2002