I am really sorry to hear you are struggling so much to find some relief from depression. Jamie really is better able to speak of respite-inpatient than I am, but I will say that I found Intensive Outpatient Program to be very helpful. I get really anxious being locked in, so that was a good middle road for me to be able to get a lot of therapy without having to be locked inside all day (not that I usually went out much, but just the concept of not being able to escape frightened me -- long story behind that).
The result, in addition to the therapy groups, was that there was a lot more data that they could collect from extensive observation throughout the day. We started to recognize patterns & that definitely helped. Ultimately, as a result of that, we opted not to continue trying more anti-depressants, but to start on BCP and to treat with more therapy & with some behavioral changes. It did make a real difference. I was not perfect, but I was not constantly thinking about suicide anymore either. I recently started on Synthroid & that has truly been the miracle cure for my depression. I do have my bad days & when they come they are really bad. But it's gone from maybe having half a day per month when I was not depressed to having maybe a handful of days per month when I AM depressed, a couple weeks where I am even & a week or so worth of days when I am actually happy (who knew?!).
Keep at it! It will get better. Sometimes rest really is the best medicine, but you know what you're able to tolerate & what is definitely not going to work. My theory is to try everything that has a chance of working, but no point in trying stuff that won't work for you at all. Try to keep an open mind about things. If you don't like any of the options in front of you, Aurora had a great idea about getting a second opinion. The other route you could always go is to participate in a research study. I tried to get into one in the past where they were testing a fast-acting depression med. It seemed like a great opportunity to me. I knew the drug was safe & wanted to try, but due to a neurological condition, I was disqualified. But they had great results with the med. It is still in trial phase, but hopefully will be an option one day so that when people go to the ER, they can get relief within 3-5 days, rather than being discharged before the meds start to work.
I am now enrolled in a meditation study. Besides it being helpful, I get paid for my time which always makes it seem more appealing. :)
Take care of yourself & keep us posted about how you're doing!
Moderator -- Depression Forum