Don't Feel Like Doing Anything

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Nature's Spirit
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 9/26/2004 10:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Somethings wrong.....
I don't know where it began, coulda crept up on me for all I know.. But I've shut down again emotionally....
The door buzzes, I get as quiet as possible and don't answer, and whats worse is I don't even care who's there...
The phone rings, I turn the ringer off.. I have absolutely no desire to talk to anyone..
For months I haven't been able to sleep for more than 4 hours and now I don't even want to get out of bed and if I do its to move to the couch..
This has been goin on for about a week n 1/2, I just tapered off of prednisone and I'm wondering if that has anything to do with it or if I'm slippin further into depression..
My friends have called and left messages wondering if I'm ignoring them, or upset and that just makes it worse because then I feel guilty..but I still don't call back.. because I just don't want to talk..!
My mom has came over just to see if I'm alive, because I talk to her daily and I've not even called her..
I've literally become a recluse.  Only good thing I can say about what's going on is I'm catchin up on movies I've wanted to see at the theatres that are coming out on the movie channels, and I'm catchin up on some much needed sleep.. But I know that these are signs of depression and I thought I was on the mend.. (trying to think positive) Or maybe I just needed time to myself??? I really hope its that..
Well off to lay down again, maybe tommorrow will be different.... =\

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 9/27/2004 1:29 AM (GMT -6)   
I certainly hope tomarrow is better for you, and just trying to keep positive like you are doing is a good thing.  Maybe you were just burnt out, perhaps it is the pred, I will be praying that some good sleep and some alone time will mend whatever is going on.  Its good that people are trying to be supportive, and don't feel guilty, we all go through this, and this is something even I have gone through.  Blocking people out completely, even those I love.  Remember that those people love you and accept you completely, they will not hold this against you if they are true friends and loving family.  During my hermit period as my best friend likes to call it, I rarely went out and when I did, I made sure it was late at night so I wouldn't run into anyone.  My parents were worried so were all my friends, I also ignored door bells, knocks, phonecalls, emails, icq's you name it.  I also felt bad because I knew everyone was just trying to help, but at the time there was nothing to help, I just wanted to be alone. I found out that when I came out of it, everyone was still there, happy to be my friend and love me for who I was and be supportive when I needed it and when I found the strength to ask for it.  Just keep trying to stay positive and find those things that make you happy, maybe things you do alone for now.  If your having a good day soon, maybe venture out a little, try a short walk or something that won't bring you into direct contact with people, just get you back out into the world, a small but important connnection back your life.  I myself would go for a run, being a cross country runner I knew none of my friends could fall in beside me in case I did see someone I knew. 
The excersize helped a lot for me, it helped to clear my head and get me thinking straight, and at the same time, It got me out of my house.  Don't get me wrong it was a struggle to leave at first, I just didn't want to see anyone, but once I was doing what I loved, running, I forgot about everyone around me, and even waved at a couple friends on my run and didn't have a second thought about it.  That was the beginning of recovery for me.
I also sought out therapy, which my therapist was a blessing for me, my depression stemmed from the image I had of myself and who I really was.  Maybe you could consider that, but take it one day at a time, and at your own speed.  You are in my prayers and I hope things get better very soon. 

Nature's Spirit
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 10/1/2004 11:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, after slummin around the house for a few days now.. I got up yesterday and finished somethings that needed to be taken care of, stuff that I was procastrinating on because I didn't "care" but I've realized no matter how hard I try to ignore things, it actually makes it worse.. Sucks being able to figure out things.. when ya just wanna be 'brain dead' or left alone.. but as soon as I got out of my house, I came back and wanted to finish another... and another! And now most of my life is almost back on track... LONG ROAD, but I have enough energy today to drive.. heh sad analogy

I read somewhere about happiness ~ Its just driving down a long road with no rest areas and you have to go tinkel, but the next stop isnt for miles.. so you hold it, waiting patiently~ sometimes frantically for that next rest stop and when you finally pull in and run to the bathroom to sit down.. Its that spot right then and there that you find true happiness, its like Ahhhhhhh! And just like happiness it only lasts seconds~ TRUE BLISS! You feel good, get back out on the road again and you have just enough of that feelin to keep ya going to the next stop.. and so on and on and on heheh
OK SO i'm not the best at explaining things heh, most the time it never comes out the way I want it too... Basically, happiness comes in spurts.. (er ya ok, didnt mean br spurts hehe) and in between those spurts we are waiting for that next spurt.. OMG i'm done hehehe no more analogys!! PROMISE!
Have a wonderful weekend! Thanks for listenin to my rambling :)

Oh Cloudless, hon.. thank you for understanding
There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry.  Two carefree days, kept sacredly free from fear and apprehension.  One of these days is Yesterday... And the other day I do not worry about is Tommorrow.  
~Robert Jones Burdette

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