I'm so sorry you are still hurting. Have you reconsidered trying grief counseling? I really think that could help. If you're not comfortable going to a group, perhaps you could just work one-on-one with a counselor.
I saw that Kitt also posted a number of really good books that have helped me in the past when I lost a couple of close friends at a very young age. I know it's hard to get out of missing the person, but I would imagine that your friend would not want to see you so sad all the time. You said before that you feel he is with you still all the time. Maybe that thought could help you to think that it would be okay to plan something fun or relaxing. I'm sure you did some really wonderful things with your friend before & maybe you could do the same sort of thing now & he will just be with you in spirit.
It is not easy to get over the loss of a friend. It does take a long time & many times different activities can remind us of good times in the past & we starting missing the person all over again. For me, what helps is trying to tell myself that I am living my life in honor of that person. A friend of mine just died a couple weeks ago & that is how I think of her. I try to do things that I imagine she would do (buy little gifts for her son, invite her husband out with a group of friends, volunteer at the hospital, etc.). It is so hard to be missing someone, but there are ways to move forward with our lives while still honoring our cherished friends. If you cannot do that on your own, know that there are a lot of other people in your position. That may be a sign of clinical depression, which usually requires therapy, medication or both in order to recover. You might try talking with your doctor to see what s/he thinks about whether you could benefit from anti-depressants or counseling.
I do hope you start to feel a little less depressed. Please let us know how we can support you.
hugs & prayers,
Moderator -- Depression Forum