Welcome to the depression forum. It sounds like you’re in a tough place right now, and I am sorry. You are right in your instincts….22 is a difficult age, because you are trying to establish yourself and find your place in the world. I found my twenties to be tough for that reason….going to different jobs, wondering if I would ever be happy, wishing I felt like I had some meaning to my life.
I do believe that everyone has a ‘life purpose’…perhaps more than one….and it takes time to figure out what that purpose is. We’re all on a different plan with a different schedule, and it can be hard to watch others settle into things and wonder when it will be our turn. I guess I’ve defined myself as a bit of a free spirit in the working world, because I’ve done a lot of different things over the past few decades, since my first jobs in my early teens. My resumé is a little thicker than some, but I don’t regret my experiences, and I think the variety of jobs I’ve had makes me a more well-rounded person with a wide-ranging skill set. Don’t be afraid to try different jobs, and don’t feel like you have to stay if you hate your job…..just make sure you can support yourself and keep a bit of a safety net for emergencies and such.
I know you said you hate going to school, but perhaps there are some night or weekend classes, even in something you would consider fun as a hobby, that would pique your interest. Taking a class is always good for the soul, and you might find that you meet a few new friends, too. Sometimes when we’re feeling like our lives have no joy, we need something new to focus on, where we can let go of the other stresses of the week.
I am in my forties now, and have found that my life has meaning from the things I do outside of my job. I have gained a great deal of happiness from spending time with seniors in my community, and doing things like taking them sightseeing and shopping, or spending time together over lunch. I also have found a lot of peace and joy in gardening, and spending time exploring in nature. I have a few other hobbies, too, that give me the opportunity to create and express myself, and I would encourage you to do the same…..take an art class, a writing class, a yoga class….whatever your heart desires….and see what it does for your spirit.
Sometimes the meaning in our lives doesn’t come from a career….sometimes it comes from lifting the hearts of others, and sharing ourselves with the world. Please don’t give up on yourself……you’ve got lots of time to learn and grow and find some joy in your life. (((hugs)))
Moderator, Depression Forum
“Hope is the pillar that holds up the world.” ~Pliny the Elder