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Posted 9/29/2004 7:53 PM (GMT -7)
I am new here and I'm not really sure how to begin this.

I have a nice home, a beautiful son and an extremely loving partner. But I feel like I am alone.

I called my fiance today. He was on his lunch break and couldn't really talk and eat at the same time. So after a ten minute conversation, I hung up on him. Then I sent him horrible text messages telling him that I didn't need him, that I wasn't important to him and worst of all, that I hate him.

But I don't. I just feel so neglected and alone. I know he loves me and he does anything for me and I love him too. I love my son more than life. But sometimes I just feel that I'm not enough. That I'm useless and lazy and ugly and would be better of taking a long long nap.

I think about that alot more than I used to.
I cry alot too. A sweet story in a magazine or a movie on television about anything. I cry all of the time. But only when I am alone.
When they are home, I am angry. Or frustrated. Or both.
I never seem to be able to be happy around them.

I don't eat but I am gaining weight which makes me feel worse.

I don't want to feel like this. But how do I change? What do I do?
Posted 10/1/2004 2:00 PM (GMT -7)
Hey, I can totally relate to what you are going through. I had the same problems after the birth of my first child, they said it was ppd, but the meds wouldn't work, and it seemed like nothing helped. Everything was just about perfect in my life, but I felt so lost, and down, and everything depressed me even more. Seems like there's no way out, doesn't it? There is though, I got through my tough time, and sometimes whenever I still have bouts, I know how to get myself through them. It's not easy, but when you need to unload, we all are here, and you can email  debbwalk@hotmail.com. If I can help, I will do my BEST!! Take care, Deb.
Posted 10/13/2004 12:18 AM (GMT -7)
   Hi Bella, Welcome to this site. There are alot of great people here who have helped me on ocassion. You are not alone, we are here. Just to let you know, I am willing to talk if you need someone to talk with. Sometimes it just helps to talk. Post back here if you need to email or IM.Hugs to ya! Pamela tongue
Posted 10/13/2004 5:20 AM (GMT -7)
BellaBlue,
hi and welcome to the group,
i think the best thing you can do is to find profesional help....i used to NEVER see any benifit to just talking to people,but i was wrong. they are trained to look for things and can do wonders....
o and if you just need to vent to others who can relate, or have questions...or would just like to talk to someone.....you have us.. :) ....
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