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had enough x
New Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/15/2009 12:43 PM (GMT -6)   
were do i start i know i havent posted in couple of weeks , well coz i have felt fine i was getting on with out having a relationship and then i found out my ex was feeling down so i started talking to him and we got together again , and he was so nice that first week  calling me gorgeous and stuff and know he doesnt caree:/ its like i dont excistt and after that first weeek and then that first weeek he helped get my self eestem up again :/ and know its dropeed to all time low again :/ and i sent him this hugeee text and he hasnt contacted me since then he is making me feel really low again and i dont know what to do i am thinking about dumping him coz i was happier wiht out him is that the right thing ? and i keep thinking is he the reason for the depression ?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 7/15/2009 12:51 PM (GMT -6)   
I have to say that we can't rely on others to make us feel better and we can't blame them for our moods. It is all within us.

If you feel that you are happier without him, then by all means to dump him. It could be the relationship bringing you down. Though you can't blame him, it just is.

Are you going to any counseling? I wonder if that would help with your self esteem. You might want to think about it.

In a relationship, it is give and take. I do admit I am sorry that your bf is treating you the way that he is. And it might be toxic for you to live that way. So thinking of being without him might be better in the long run. Have you talked to him about the way that he is acting? You need to be able to communicate in a relationship, if you can't, you will be unhappy.

I hope that you consider counseling. Let me know how things go.

Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 7/15/2009 1:57 PM (GMT -6)   
I would blame him for making you feel that way. People around do play a role in how we feel. That's what I believe. Trust your instincts no matter what. Don't think too much about it.
"Getting an idea should be like sitting down on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something."  -E. L. Simpson
General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) with Agoraphobia
Zoloft (100 mgs) daily
Trazadone (50 mgs) nightly
Xanax (1.25 mgs) as needed at night

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 7/15/2009 3:52 PM (GMT -6)   
People can play a role in how we feel if we let them. Each of us has the power to control our moods if we try. And if the environment is toxic, it is up to us to get out of that situation.

I think that we all have the strength within us as to whether we let things bother us or not, We should strive to be happy no matter what the situation.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/15/2009 6:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and I am sorry you are back to square one.  IMHO others do not cause our feelings — we cause them ourselves. The next time you’re feeling down about your ex's  comments to you or lack of comments to you  or a situation that “made you” feel awful, consider that the pain and distress you are feeling is in your hands. And so is the solution.
Please consider CBT therapy and learn how to accept that you are responsible for your own feelings and how you respond to other people's comments and interactions with you. 

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations,
and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

Here is the link to a free online CBT program you can work from home.
the MoodGYM:
Just click on the link. 
I hope this helps you to learn how to deal with your emotions and that you will soon start to believe in yourself.  You are an important person.
I wish you peace,


Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

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