First of all, let me thank all of you who are willing to take their time off to read this and make an attempt to help me in the process.
I am in a great depression here. Let me tell you in short about my background. I am an only child to my parents, and they are very conservative. Being a part of the Indian society and culture isn’t helping either. I am a 23 year old guy, finished my graduation and am working full time.
The problem started when I was halfway through college. Due to some financial reasons, I had to take up a part time job during my studies, and I used to work at least 6 hours a day, with 8-10 hours extra spent on studies. For those who are familiar with this type of schedule will agree that we don’t get much of a life. Well, I was more or less happy that our financial situation was improving and that I finally get to graduate with a good professional degree in engineering, and a prospect of a good job and good life.
I was one of the fun loving guys at college, and all of a sudden, my life turned into lonesome and boring. I didn’t get much chance at partying, going out with friends, and the sort. But I hoped that once I graduated, things will turn out for good.
However, after graduation, things got worse. My parents weren’t too interested in sending me off to someplace to pursue my career. Their thoughts were like “You don’t have to build a palace and rule a kingdom, do some work at home, earn money and live normally”. For them, the meaning of normal was living secluded, meeting with close relatives (and spending some time with them), get into a small debt and pay it for the rest of your life, having an arranged marriage and have some children, etc.
But I didn’t mind any of this for some time and still don’t. It is now a whole year since I graduated and I have been working flat out for 3 years at a stretch. And oh, I am working alone in my home office, so no acquaintances, or anyone. I haven’t taken any time out, I don’t spend money on booze, drugs, cigars, or even partying, my work life is like 15 hours per day, 7 days a week, and I don’t spend time with any friends or family. Well, there is a reason to do this. Our financial situation was very bad that it felt we were going to go bankrupt and would probably hit the streets. Even if we are not at that verge now, still, I need to work extra hard for the next 5-6 years before we can say that we have steadied the ship.
Now, this has led me to a deep depression, and this is directly affecting my creativity as well as productivity. This is being evident in my work, and my partners/employers are worried. I guess this might cost me my job, and my only source of income. I tried talking to my parents about this, but they think I am joking. The worst part is; they actually blame me for not putting in extra effort and for not being nice to them. They want me to ignore my problems (I am just a kid, I won’t (and shouldn’t) have any problems, and if I have, then there is something wrong with me due to something that I have done). I just can’t understand their part of the argument, and more so, they want me to act happy as if nothing is wrong. I am NOT supposed to bring negative feelings into the house, and I shouldn’t complain. In fact, I am supposed to keep them happy (Which I am willing and more than happy to do for the rest of my life).
“All the other guys and even girls are working, so what the hell is wrong with you? They are also earning and giving money to their parents, so why don’t you? There is nothing wrong with working alone! Make sure our wishes are fulfilled. Just give us a hand with the household chores, your job can wait, and you can always finish it late into the night. Don’t you think about breaking away and getting lost with a ***** (Sorry people)!” This is what I hear on a periodic basis.
Things are getting rapidly out of my hand. I am not the guy who considers suicide is the answer, and I believe I love challenges. But a secluded life (or without a life), without friends, entertainment, suppressed feelings, and god knows what else is driving me mad.
My parents love me, I know that, but they are way too conservative and old fashioned to keep up with the advancements in time.
I really don’t know what to do. I always thought of getting a girl friend, but that is way beyond the scope of our society, even now. It will only complicate things. I cannot trust my relatives, as they are looking for a chance to oust us. I practically have no ears to listen to my troubles and on top, if I get stuck with unemployment; it is going to be the last straw. I will have to take the blame for not earning as well.
Can anyone give me a good piece of advice? Once again, thank you for your time, I appreciate it.
Hello Michael, I removed your email from the open board to protect your privace. If you would like to put it in your profile that would be great.
Thank you Kitt
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 7/18/2009 8:02:10 AM (GMT-6)