Needing privacy from family

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 7/19/2009 12:06 PM (GMT -6)   
This may be a little random, but if anyones reads this, and can help me, i'd very much appreciate it.

My mom has really been nosy my whole life. I know she my mom, but its like everytime something embarrassing happens shes on the phone telling the whole famiy. I cant STAND that she does that. I'm 20 yrs old, and I think I should get some privacy.

I'm going to my first gynecology appointment next month, and I'm terrified. I would rather set the appointment up myself, only because whenever I ask my mom to make appts for me, she never does it. But I know she'll eventually find out because of the insurance.

Whenever my bf comes to pick me up, she always sits by the window waiting, and then she'll crack open the blinds to watch me leave. I'm going to school this fall so it won't be a prob after that, but until then, I can't stand having no privacy from this house.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 7/19/2009 12:12 PM (GMT -6)   
My mom is just the same way, except she's really mean too, that being said, I haven't had contact with her in about 3 years - not that that is an answer for you, but I had to, to stay sane. All my doctors, therapists have agreed wholeheartedly with my decision. Once you go to school it will get better, but being there now has got to be hard. Waiting until fall won't be easy, can you try to be gone a lot? That sounds weird, since you live there too, but that way you can get a break. Or could you stay with your boyfriend more often, not sure what his living arrangements are? Best of luck, I understand completely.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 7/19/2009 4:28 PM (GMT -6)   
hey there,
It just sounds like the typical over bearing mom. she'a probably dreading you going off to college, hang in there till then. Don'y get me wrong, she should still respevt your privacy, and certainly shouldn't be discussing your app's with other family members.
Can you have a word with her about it and tell her how much it's upsetting you, or are you beyond that.
Privacy is something that will come with time, and as you get older and start to earn your own money and pay for your own things you can enjoy all the privacy you like. I had to wait til i was out of home and working before i could escape the scrutiny of my parents.
I guess while our parents have financial hold over us there are some things we just have to put up with. I hope you can deal with it till then. take care
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most! But it has its advantages!
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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 7/19/2009 6:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Yeah, I can relate.  My parents have been overprotective my whole life.  The only solution I found for it is to move out sometime in the imenent future. 
"Getting an idea should be like sitting down on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something."  -E. L. Simpson
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Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/19/2009 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   


Hey there, I am sorry you are not getting the privacy you want.  May I suggest you talk with your Mom and explain to her that you would like to have your privacy respected.

Also would it not be alright to tell your Mom you will make your own GYN appointment but ask her to go with you and of course wait in the waiting room just for moral support?

It is not easy for Mom's to let go of their children but if you meet her halfway you may make it easier for both of you.

I still go with my daughter to some of her medical appointments as she becomes very anxious and wants her Mom with her so I go when invited.  She is 43 years old and I am glad we know we can be there for each other. It helps that I am a nurse and she wants me to hear what the physician has to say sometimes so I may translate later.  :-)
Take care and I know you will work this out.
Gentle Hugs

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