I hope things improve for you and it's good you're waiting till next year to wed. Take things very slowly. I'm sure you must feel very responsible for everyone, if you were caring for your grangmother and your parents weren't around that can't be easy.
How long are you with your fiance, you shouldn't need to test your relationship, when your not with someone long, things shouls be easy.
You are recognising that you need to put yourself first, this is good. The one way you can focus on taking care of yourself is by getting your education and making sure you have enough for yourself, money, etc. You can make new friends when you start college and should join a few clubs and get a social life independant of your partner. This is acceptable and normal, it'll give you confidence and a new out look on life. Never settle for someone just because they got you out of a bad situation and you feel you owe them something.
You need to get your self comfidence and self esteem up and running. I know you want to be there for him, but you also have to protect yourself from getting dragged down, i don't mean he will, it's just sometimes we can loose ourselves in others problems.
I have stepped away from my mother as there isn't anything i can do anymore to save her from a situation she is in.
Make time for yourself and take care, i you can stay in touch, talk soon.
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most! But it has its advantages!
Fibro, spinal arthritis and all that goes with it.