I have never done anything like this before, asking for help. In my 24 years on this earth, there have been very few times where I've shared my pain with others, and it seems that this is the safest way for me. I'm not sure where to begin. I graduated from college in May. I moved back in with my mother and sister while I look for a job. 2 months later I have no job, and I feel like I'm going crazy.
I spend my days wondering around my mother's house, as close to an empty shell as can be. I don't have many friends in my hometown anymore after being away for 4 years, so I just stay in. I haven't had a proper nights sleep since I left school. I wake up usually at 3pm and collapse somewhere near 6 am from exhaustion. When I am awake, I stress and obsess over everything. I feel like I'm completely worthless and alone. That my family doesn't love me, and even though I know I don't deserve their love, it still hurts. I cry every single day. Usually before I go to bed. I feel totally and completely alone, useless and pathetic. I think it may also be taking a toll on my body. I haven't missed a period in the last 5 years, and I haven't had one since I came home.
I dont know where these feelings come from. No one is being mean to me.
I'm tired all the time. In the last week things have become much worse. I finally took to the internet and looked at my symptoms and figured I might be depressed. I cried that whole day away. More and more frequently I find myself running to my room to cry. I figured I could somehow fix myself internally, like I have in the past, but I don't know how to fix this. I've never asked for help before, but I'm begging for it now.
Post Edited By Moderator (FamilyGuy) : 7/27/2009 6:28:40 AM (GMT-6)