First of all, you are NOT responsible for how your wife feels about herself. Self esteem is exactly that--esteem of SELF. You can certainly help her as much as you possibly can, but it's ultimately up to each of us to achieve happiness within ourselves. Noone else can do that for us.
If she's not happy about something in her life, she can do something about it---what is it that she wants and needs? Can she articulate that?
It's wonderful that you suggested MC--hopefully you have a good therapist. Obviously her drinking is a huge issue, and why is she trying to get off of her antidepressants? It sounds like she is clearly depressed. If her current meds aren't helping, there are others that might. It's often trial and error to get the right meds.
Have you considered counseling for yourself? There appear to be so many issues in your post---one thing counseling could help you with is to establish safe boundaries---you speak of your wife "raging" at you and how she (verbally) beats you up---this needs to stop. You sound like a very worried and loving husband. Take care of yourself. Your children need you.
fibro, PTSD, anxiety, severe nerve damage/several surgeries on wrist, TMJ--have titanium disks, depression, mitral valve prolapse.