Thanks for the support, I think I forgot to say that in my previous post. Yes Kitt, the last couple of days have been really hard. Right now, I still don't very high hopes, but at least I know what to expect from a couple of individuals I was doubting there allegiance. It hasn't turned out the way I would choose if I were to, but having some certainty certainly beats the doubt
. So now I hope to get on with life.
To give you some insight on one of the right now positive thoughts of me: The pain you feel when you are over your ears in love with someone and that person doesn't return is probably one of the most hurtful things around. So I try to be grateful to the fact that I can experience it now, so that I may grow ever stronger. And besides that, I believe that as long as there is craving from my part, there is a part in me that wants something for the sake of me. True love is wanting the best for the other, even if it isn't what you would choose. So the pain I feel is deserved in some way, it is "fake" pain, caused by a twisted ego that want things for itself. So right now, I am trying to get some sort of revenge on my ego for it dominated the battle the last couple of days. It feels good to smile again.
So yet again I announce I will try to spend more time on HW
. Right now is vacation, so there is plenty of time. And maybe I'll try to keep talking about
me. Since I don't like talking about
me as it makes me feel egoistic, I will set up something like I can post a message about
me for every 10 I answer or so
. That way it'll hopefully feel better.
So really, how are you all doing? If you come to read this, please leave a little hint if you want, as I would love to know.
A big hug to you all, and thanks yet again for saving me!!