extremely low, still

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 8/2/2009 10:10 PM (GMT -6)   
So, I havent been on in a while because I was switching meds when the other made me sick. I havent had any noticeable side-effects from prozac.. but I dont think that it is working. Considering how terrible I feel...
I have had alot bothering me lately. Normal things, life, parents, school... just whatever... I have been really low lately.. I just celebrated my 18th birthday Tuesday and yet, I still feel horrible. Im not sure it was much of a celebration, just a few friends over, not that I talked much anyways... I got a new tattoo.. Chinese symbol for "hope" on my wrist... Although now, my therapist thinks that my tattoos are just because I feel down and need pain, she said I cant get anymore until Im feeling better... no really, she told me that. Not true, I just like them, this one is special... thats all..
Anyways, I dont know what to do.. this med isnt helping either.. I was hopeful.. but, its been about 4 weeks I suppose and nothing.. I see my pdocs nurse soon, but he said we would up the dose if it wasnt doing anything... Im not sure changing the dose would even help...
Is this what treatment resistant depression is like? Because nothing I have tried has helped and I feel so discouraged... and very down.. Honestly, all I have had lately is negativity.. and its getting so old.. I just want it all to go away.. And college is starting soon, my therapist brought up a very good point, she says Im either going to get a hold on things, or Im going to fall completely apart....she asked my opinion, I said probably the second one. 
So... I really dont know what to do or say.. I just need to get a lot out... the right way, ya know. What should I do?
Lyrica (15 months-quit Feb. 09), Paxil (10 months-quit 6-4-09), Started Cymbalta 6-6-09(horrible effects on me), Rozerem, Melatonin  Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy-new pdoc-possible Borderline Personality Disorder...
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 8/2/2009 10:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I just want to encourage you to stick with it. Even Treatment Resistant Depression (& I can't say whether or not that's what you have) can be managed -- it's just harder & sometimes takes a combination of meds instead of just one. Hang in there! Things are bound to get better soon. Just try to focus on that beautiful new tattoo you got & remember that hope is always out there & that it's okay to expect that things will get better. They may not get better right away, but they could change at any moment & all of these tough times will seem like the distant past.

hugs & blessings,
Moderator -- Depression Forum

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 8/3/2009 12:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Christy:  I'm sorry you have been feeling so terribly depressed this long.  And I know how hard it can be switching medications and waiting for them to kick in.  But it is a good sign that the Prozac didn't make you sick or cause any other negative side effects.  Perhaps your P'docs nurse will increase your dosage when you see her and that will provide you with some relief that you have ben seeking.
Just from my own experience in dealing with the depression, I have noticed that when I am anxious the depression tends to get worst also.  And you are about to make some major changes with college starting in a few weeks.  I realize you have many contributing factors to your depression but I am wondering if your possible fear of this change could be dragging you down even more.  By any chance are any of your friends going to the same school as you?  Is the school within a decent driving distance from your house?  ...I remember when I was in your shoes, I went to the campus a few weeks early to just walk around, get my text-books and supplies early from the bookstore and to just become more familiar with the campus in general.  This helped a little bit in making myself less nervous.  Perhaps these are things that you might consider trying. 
Last, fully trusting your therapist can be a very difficult thing to do and it will not simply happen overnight.  So please realize that you are not alone with this.  However, it is important that you realize that she is there to help you.  So regardless of how difficult it is to be honest, you do need to start opening up somewhere or somehow.  Perhaps pick one small item or topic at a time.  See how she responds to it.  Or if you have trouble just getting the words to come out try writing them down and sending them to her ahead of time.  That way when you walk in you don't have to be so nervous about how/when to say it.
I'm sending lots of (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) your way right now.  Please remember that you are not alone and we all care about you here.  Keep posting and let us know how you are feeling.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 8/3/2009 4:00 AM (GMT -6)   
i love tatts got one-and will be getting a special one soon. the best thing i had for rtd was e.c.t. i am not saying this is what you need, but it helped me emmensly as i was not eating, barely drinking, etc. with loving compassion. jamie.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 8/3/2009 11:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christi,

I agree with the above, you might just need an adjustment on your medications. I took a lot of different kinds before I found the combination that worked for me. So try to be patient with this. It will all work out for the best. Hopefully soon you will be able to take the adderall. That will help you get back on your sleep schedule, as you will be awake and feeling better throughout the day. I wish you good luck with that.

Iknow that you ahve been trying really hard, (please excuse the typos)My computer is printing slow and it takes forever to fix them. But your trying will pay off in the end. Which shouldn't be too long from now. You will make it. As was posted above, maybe you should get some of your friends together and check out the school. I know once you get started that you will love it. College is so fun. And I know that you will do great.

Well, I have to get going. Sorry this is so short. You take care. Email me if you feel like it.

Talk to you later,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 8/4/2009 2:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christy:  I'm just wondering how you are feeling now.  I'm hoping that perhaps you have had a medication adjustment or increase and are possibly doing better.
Please post back to let us know how you are doing.  We care!

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 8/4/2009 4:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello there,
So sorry to hear you are feeling this way. 18 is a wonderful age! I wish you all the best.

Maybe your body needs time to adjust to this new medication?
Let me honestly tell you this-when I was your age(which wasn't too long ago) I felt the same way. I felt to trapped, hopeless, and depressed I thought things would never get better. I feel great now. I finally am happy with the people in my life. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I do understand what you're saying. One thing I learned from dealing with depression and anxiety in therapy, is that I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I need to live my life like everyone else. I cleaned up some of the people in it..all the negative ones are gone and forgotten.

I also got a tattoo, reason being that it symbolizes my independence. A new stage in my life where I cleaned myself up and am now ready to continue waking up each day to see what's in store. You may need to think about people and things in your life and consider them, if that helps at all. Also, please be honest with yourself. I used to say things to my therapist that I thought would be the things she expected me to say. But then I stopped and told myself that I can't kid around anymore and my voice needs to be heard.

I wish you all the best, and please stay positive. Keep us updated
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