Thank you, Karen & Ivy,
That self-defense mechanism doesn't sound too far-fetched to me! I think we develop ways to block out or shield ourselves from hurtful experiences and situations.
I do tend to be a perfectionist in everything I do, setting very high standards for myself. And then when I don't measure up, I am frustrated with myself. Unfortunately, I also have a son who is extremely critical of me. I can't do anything right in his eyes. He overlooks everything his father does, but magnifies everything he sees in me that he finds negative or unacceptable. He doesn't even accept me for who I am or the way I am. He is 29 and lives in another state. The last time I saw him, I left for home in tears. I began to realize that every visit with him turns out that way. I finally had to cut him off for the sake of my mental and psychological well-being. I hated to do that, but I could see that all I was to him was an easy target for his cruel criticisms. Of course, I left the door open to him if he ever wanted a relationship with me based on respect. I haven't heard from him since; that was almost two years ago. My daughter (my oldest) can even be critical of me at times. But she has gotten a little better. I have a feeling her husband may have spoken to her about this. Now my youngest (another son) is very attentive, caring, and supportive of me. So at least I have him as a bright spot in my life!
Thank you for your support and kind words.
Diagnosed with: seizure disorder in 1962; seizure-free since 1969, IBS in 1996,
Mild depression, anxiety, & OCD in 2000, PMDD in 2001, Dysfunctional tear syndrome in 2009
Meds: Phenobarbitol, Paxil, Allegra; Supplements: Too many to list here