Living with dysthmia

Do Anti-depressants work?
yes - 100.0%
np - 0.0%

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/7/2009 7:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm really nervous...I've never been on a discussion board and talked about myself with people I dont know. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for. I've been reading posts and a little bit of weight seems to be lifted off me because I know I'm not alone.

Since I was a child I've always been like this. Some would call it low or melancholy. I'm always the "negative one" in the bunch. My dad left when I was 7. But still up until then I was kind of a loner, and I remember always being low. I never have felt happiness like everyone else seems too. My mom abused me when I was a child, and even after I left for college she abused me verbally still. I've always had low self-esteem. My teachers noticed my attitude in 7th grade. I went to counseling and I never get seem to get out of the slump I was in. It was all I was used to, I thought it was just a part of me not to get excited like other people. Then in high school, I went lower again. In my normal low state I'm able to function. But when it drops below that I cant. I didnt eat, slept all the time, I started to use drugs and drink. When I went to college it happened again and it was more intense. I got arrested and taken to a mental hospital, although I only stayed there for 5 hours I was really scared. They ordered me to take meds and mandatory therapy.

I was the lowest of the low. I started on Prozac. I hated it, I thought about knives all the time, and I started to cut myself. Then I got off of that, still cutting, and took Lexapro. That gave me terrible night sweats. Then I started Effexor, worst ever!!! I was up to 175 mg, and if I forgot to take it for only one day, I would puke and shake really bad. It took me almost 3 months to get off and I had to take Prozac at the same time, still puking and shaking. Again I relapsed back to drugs and went back to therapy again. Then I moved again and now I feel myself slipping again. I'm always sensitive, but I cry all the time, and the pain I feel is so deep, but nothing has happened @ that moment that I feel that way. I'm extremely irritable, angry, just want to lay around. When something small happens my whole world seems to tumble apart.

I really dont want to go back on meds but I know I may have to, I already made an appt to go back to therapy as well, this will be my fourth time. I dont want this to ruin my relationships again or my job. Sometimes @ work I just cry. What have you guys done?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 8/7/2009 10:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I go to therapy and take medications. I take 375mg of effexor every day. I also take xanax and abilify. Since the abilify, I have been doing well. And the counseling really helps. There is hope Coldplayer. You will find it. I assure you that you can become happy. I know that it seems hopeless, but you will find happiness in your life. Stick with us, we will be here to support you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 8/9/2009 5:39 AM (GMT -6)   
hi coldplayer, sorry do not do the voting thing. alike karen, i too have been on a journey with medications. counselling and the right medications, in combination are very effective in combating depression. i have been on all types of anti-dep meds, maoi, ssri, tryclyclic, etc. i have been on many variants, sedating type, stimulant type etc. it can take awhile to find the right combination that is suited to you, for you and your condition/dx. some meds poop out, some become totally ineffective, thus you need to be viligant with this when speaking with your doc. appreciate your courage in posting. we are here for you. with loving compassion.
jamie, male, 37
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 8/9/2009 6:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I know how you feel. I also have dysthymia. I am currently a college student and I can totally relate to your story. I have followed the exact same path as you.. I started off on Paxil which helped some.. but not enough.. decided to switch and tried cymbalta. it made me very sick and suicidal so i switched again, im on prozac now and it hasnt helped any. Im still at the same low I always have been. I know what you mean thinking anti-depressants wont work, or therapy. I have been in therapy since march and im not sure it has done anything. and been seeing my shrink since late may and still nothing...
When I was little I was very out-going and very happy, but everything changed when I was about 12-13...and since then everything has been so down and crazy. I just turned 18.. I also saw my school counselor for almost 2 years.. it helped to have people to talk to, at school. But I graduated and am starting college now and fear I wont have that kind of connection with any other adult, not like my school coounselor or a few teachers I confided in....which is very rare for me, to open up to anyone. dont even open up during therapy so, i suppose Im a difficult case....
I dont like the thought of needing meds to allow me to function. But, I also want to be able to function. Im 18. Im a college student, of course I want to have a good time and hang out and do things....which I really cant. I cant hang out with people cause I dont like to be around people, but I want to. I want to go places, but I stay at home. I want to be "normal", but Im not...
I think that therapy CAN help in time.. and I think medication also helps. Its just a matter of finding the right med or med combination.. my doc seems to think I need a combination.. but we havent found a basis for one med yet so... until we find one that helps we cant add a second to boost it. He is considering putting me on Adderall to give me energy since all I what to do is sleep and never do anything...
I understand the drugs and drinking.. I have a few times went that direction but I stay away as much as possible. I understand that one small simple thing can happen, but it brings your whole world down, same here. All the time...something SO small and simple, like someone saying something to seems like nothing but it can make everything fall apart and bring me WAY down. I understand the self harm, I have done that as well.
I get it and your not alone in this. If you ever want to talk, Im here for ya... take care and do what you can.. it may take alot of work, but we can feel just takes time and patience... good luck and take care
Lyrica (15 months-quit Feb. 09), Paxil (10 months-quit 6-4-09), Started Cymbalta 6-6-09(horrible effects on me), Rozerem, Melatonin  Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy-new pdoc-possible Borderline Personality Disorder...
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 8/9/2009 10:42 PM (GMT -6)   
zapped. thx for sharing. i am sure that the information will be well used. thanks for helping me understand the realness of dysthmia and how it effects people. with loving compassion.
-jamie. idea idea idea i am sure it will help others too. thx for your courage.
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