I think you should tell the therapist exactly what you've shared here. If it's easier, print out this topic and let him read it. It's typical for people to take a while to get comfortable with the therapy setting. He's seen it before.
But really .... if you talk about
these things and get them out ..... I think you'll be surprised at how much better you'll feel. I know therapy has done me a lot of good.
And please don't be so hard on yourself. You're not stupid .... or any of those negative things that you're telling yourself.
That's part of the value of therapy - to break up that negative feed back loop we put ourselves in.
Lyme, anxitey, depression, chronic C. Pnuemoniae
"... expect the unexpected ..." (O. Wilde)
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." (Mark Twain)