Hello. The situation I find myself caught in is...kind of hard to explain. Simply put, everything IS and always WAS in my head.
I've felt empty, hollow, hopeless, pointless, and singled out every day for the past year. I'm not even sure if I am depressed, in fact I often wonder if I'm just insane. Before a year ago I used to write, read, make music, enjoy myself. My senior year of high school started, things were stacking up, and by the end of the year I was caught in a cycle in my head I can't seem to get out of.
I have books, my music, even my writing all right here but I haven't touched any of it in months. No motivation...I think about it, want to do it, but I simply can't. The big problem that presents itself here is that the few times I do begin to dabble in my music or writing, I find that it's near impossible because I haven't done either in such a long time and I'm very, very rusty. I basically have to relearn all of it again...and that brings us back to the motivation factor...
I'm not sure why I'm so against myself...I realize my problems and I understand the situation, I just feel so powerless to stop it. That's what has brought me to this forum. I can't take it anymore, and I'd really like to start living my life. Thank you for your time reading this.
Edit: I am sorry I had to edit your post per rule:
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use or exchange, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
I thank you in advance for your understanding of the rule.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 8/11/2009 5:13:30 PM (GMT-6)