I am sorry to hear what you are going through now. It is horrible to feel unwanted, or as you call it, a freak. And it is so hard to put that feeling aside. Something I am still battling with. Though I have my own reasons.
Anyway, people may say you are "wrong", but I am here to say you aren't. It probably won't help you much, but being gay is normal in nature, so people say you are against nature's will or anything like that are wrong themselves.
But I believe you got to have someone to talk to. Keeping things for yourself is never the way to go, or so I believe. The only problem might be finding someone. After what happened, you probably don't want to tell any other friends, nor your family. Is there a way to talk to a counselor at school or so? Or maybe a teacher you feel comfortably with? When I was at school not so very long ago, there were teachers who could help you with this. If you know of no one, you can always visit your doctor. Maybe he can help you find someone.
And Froster, you aren't alone. There are millions and millions of gay people, and even more who aren't gay but accept you who you are. Perhaps you need to find them, perhaps you already know them but just haven't told them yet. Here in Holland, I believe the vast majority of inhabitants aren't having a problem with gay people. You are who you are, and I believe you are perfect the way you are.
And of course, we are here for you. So take advantage of us
Take care, and all the very best my friend!
Moderator on the Depression Forum
The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.