Are we our own worst enemies or our own best friends?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 8/16/2009 2:18 PM (GMT -6)   
There are many things in the world that make me go hmmmmmmm.  The challenges that anyone faces as they navigate the world and what makes them "successful" or not is one of those things. 
 I always try to approach new situations or just day to day life with a positive attitude because that is what I want others to see in me.  I don't actually give a rip what most other people think of me but I believe in karma and the positive or negative energy that we put out into the universe.  I believe that if we aren't part of the solution we are part of the problem. 
There was a time in my life that I was persecuted by a particular boss for years and years.  It tore me down and made me an angry person.  The anger served a purpose in protecting me and making me strong enough to defend myself when necessary.  It also had other less beneficial effects on me and my family. Even after I was able to extricate myself from that boss the anger stayed with me.  One day I realized that I was just being an angry person and I decided that I didn't want to be that angry person.  That realization helped me to change those behaviors for good (I know this because of the way that I have dealth with other similar situations since then).  Once I did that everything in my life became better and life in general became less stressful.
These lessons continue to be a guide for living my life from big issues right down to something as simple as the user name that I chose for this forum. 
What do you think?  Are we our own worst enemies or our own best friends?  I pose this question not in judgment but as one of the things that makes me go hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Walk in harmony
I refuse to define myself by my condition or the meds I take

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 8/16/2009 2:36 PM (GMT -6)   

sometimes people create their own life senarios then try to blame a spouse or other people. If one does not wish to get help fpr themselves the ruin life for everyone around them. I am the spouse of a woman with crohns and severe depression not willing to address her problems personally, I have stuck it out for 4 years of intense torture and love to look after a womanthat has no idea for a family or place in her own life. mI give you credit ifyou saught help. at least you hopefully can recover

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 8/16/2009 2:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Stronglady,

I think that we can actually be both. I think when we are suffering and don't understand what it takes to make ourselves happy, we can often make ourselves worse. But I think when we get to that healing stage in our depression, we can often be our own best friend. So I think that there is a lot of range here for both to apply.

I hope that this makes sense.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 8/16/2009 3:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Heeja Stronglady,

Isn't it the same? I mean, we can learn most about patience and love from our worst enemies. If we can love him / her / it, we can love anything. So our worst enemies can be our best friends at the same time. We should cherish our enemies for only they can teach us how to be at piece with them. I find that a very encouraging thought when dealing with everyday life.

Take care my friend!

Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 8/17/2009 4:07 AM (GMT -6)   
fantastic post stronglady, and yes, your username, and posts reflect this. me, a firm beleiver in karma, moreover a firm beleiver in learning, giving and compassion. why be our worst enemy when we can be our best friend!!!!!!!!!!!! excellent thoughtful and very topical and karmic post. big CHEERS. jamie smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 8/17/2009 4:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Indeed, you have posed a very interesting question. It truly gives a person that moment to look in the mirror and ask themselves..."What am best friend....or worst enemy"?
I agree with the above statement that we can certainly be both at any given time of the day....that's for sure!
I know 110% that I'm my biggest CRITIC....that's for sure. I tend to be a total perfectionist and if things aren't exact....or people don't do exactly what "I" think is right or good enough I tend to get very anxious or upset.
This though, I don't think is a weakness, but just part of who I am.
In my opinion, it's at the end of the day that counts the most. If I can lie down alone and sit and silence...but then be able to laugh aloud by is that moment that reminds me how important it is to be your own best friend.!! :)

DX:  Migraines w/o aura, NDPH, Meniere's Disease, vertigo, insomnia, and anxiety.
RX:  Propanolol, Compazine, Buspar, Celexa, Zofran, Midrin, Ultram, Toradol IM, and Benadryl IM.
"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or is what you think about"

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/18/2009 6:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Good Morning.  Are we our own worst enemies or our own best friend? I think we are both and learning to be our own best friend is a wise goal.
To see things with a positive "spin" even at the most depressed times in life, takes practice. What seems like a monumental task is really just a series of small changes and desire.
To change a behavior or action, we have to change our thoughts. The first step is to make sure you have forgiven yourself for everything.
The next thing we must do is listen to ourself and make efforts to correct ourself. Kind of like coaching or teaching ourself to rethink.
Instead of saying "I can't do anything right" start with "I did a really good job  last week".
Your end goal is to be your own best friend and not your own enemy.  Cheer yourself on to feeling good about who you are.
Take care,

Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~* *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/18/2009 1:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I am at my wits end! My SO (we do not live together) suffers from depression and ABSOLUTELY is his own worst enemy. (In the past I experienced reactive depression from things going on in my life at the time but fought my way out of it.) He has been depressed this time since Jan. He will do nothing to help himself. I am beginning to believe he is addicted to his own bad feelings. There is always something else for him to be depressed about. (Several years ago he overdosed on some prescription pills and then went to a restaurant, ordered an alcoholic drink, drank it, and then passed out and almost died. He said it was to "get to" me.) Twice this year he has told me he is considering suicide and twice I have contacted his psychiatrist. And then I am the worst person who ever existed. He refuses hospitalization and counseling, won't see his psych more than once a month. I have done everything I can think of to get him to think, even for a second, about anything outside of himself. I am literally the only person in the world he is close to. He is retired and does not work. He sleeps all day. He does go to evening AA meetings regularly but nothing else. And when we're together he never wants to do anything, just feel sorry for himself. Every single day it is always how depressed he is... since Jan.! I am exhausted. Any suggestions, please.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 8/19/2009 5:38 PM (GMT -6)   
First, what a wonderful post to make us all stop and think about how we treat and think about ourselves! Thank you for posting your thoughts!

That being said...I think for me it depends on situations whether I'm my own worst enemy or best friend. I tend to beat myself up over things that don't go right, but at the same time, when I'm working to fix things, or get out of situations that have happened, I cheer myself on.

I do think that we would all be a little better off if we were our own best friends more often. Because of this post, I'll try to think more if I'm helping or hurting myself depending on if I'm being my friend or enemy.

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12; phenergan, ultram, clonazepam as needed

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