i cant take it anymore

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/26/2009 8:35 PM (GMT -6)   
im so fed up i cant even breathe. dramatic sounding yes but i dont care. my mother makes me feel like i am insane! she makes things up and talks crap about me to my dad cuz he is never home. and she wonders why our family is so messed up? i am hurting more than i ever have before. her dad isnt doing well, like he has been really sick for a long time and there saying this week is his last. and it hurts because she hasnt even let me go visit him. im not very close with him but i still love him and know she loves him. nothing i do is good enough no matter how hard i try. i just want her to LOVE me. and my dad? he sent me the most messed up email i have ever read. i cried through the whole thing. he cant even come talk to my face about anything. its not my fault i cant just pack up and move away like he wants me too, i just graduated have barely any income and i dont see him ever supporting me. just cuz all my friends have rich mommy's and daddy's that basically do everything for them doesn't makes me just like them. i dont even know if what im writing is making since i just feel so hurt. i love my mom i do, but sometimes she needs to admit she is hurtful and apologize to me. no one does! i always do first because i hate conflict. my mom even told my older sister that it is her fault that her marriage is ruined. its not ruined, there still together. it could be worse and i'm sick of being the only positive one. my dad talks down where we live and everything about this place and my mom just plays head games. i need to leave and i cant wait till i can

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 8/26/2009 9:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Take a few deep breaths. Keep thinking positive. Take one day at a time. You may find a better job where you make more money. Have you ever thought about going to college, or is that what you just graduated? Or highschool?

Starting out isn't easy but it doesn't have to be so bad. Try to over look what your mom and dad are saying, chances are they are stressed and they don't mean to hurt you. Have you ever tried sitting down and telling your mom how you feel?

Start looking for a better paying job, save your money to get your own place. In the meantime, keep on keeping on. And it is good to stay positive.

You can do this.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/27/2009 12:45 AM (GMT -6)   
i have ttried many times to talk to them. it always ends up bad and everything i say it wrong, disrespectful, or stupid even though i try so hard. and i am going to the junior college. i even went when i was in high school to stay busy and get a head start. thank you i ijust feel really alone and plan on talking to my doctor in a few weeks about how i feel.

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 8/27/2009 1:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Talking to the doctor sounds like a good plan, Xela.

Families can be difficult. When you were younger, you were probably protected from a lot of the silliness that can go on between relatives, but you're older now, and less protected, and mature enough to be seeing through the illusion, to the harsher reality.

You may find that you need to struggle with this your whole life. That said, things might get easier (or just different) as you get older. I think the first few years tend to be the hardest, partly because you need to grieve for the lost dream of a perfect family, and also because you are still young enough to be subject to some of your relatives' mind games. As you get older, you will have more freedom to distance yourself from any familial nastiness, and set limits on what sort of behaviour you are prepared to tolerate.

Hang in there.

Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~

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