That is an excellent post. Practical and to the point. I found it helpful.
I also think what Cowboyup shared in one of his posts is helpful here, which is that love is something that will continue to give even if it does not get in return. I know for myself sometimes it is hard to love like this...well usually! But when I try to respond with love, even if my h isn't always acting the most loving, I gain compassion for his hurt, rather than building up anger over his behaviors.
I find it helpful to consciously separate the condition from the person, and to look beyond the person's performance to the intention of the heart which is that they are doing the best they can and to honor that.
Also like you shared, even the smallest of accomplishments need to be acknowledged and celebrated.
Oftentimes art can be a really good therapy for depression, anxiety and other similar things. So encouraging the person to write or journal, to paint, to create music, draw etc.. Art allows deeper emotions and thoughts - things that we can't always find words for - to find expression and release.