Oh I hear you loud and clear. Im 29 and the amount of trauma and grief and illness that has been packed into those years is almost unfathomable. I too throw my hands up in the air and have those "why me?" moments- or the "im so angry- this is unfair!" moments.
Im sorry to hear things have been so rough for you, but this is the advice i give and i hope it helps even just a little:
We are here. we have food in our bellies, roofs over our heads. Our homes arent war torn or in famine. We have avenues of help for our medical problems, be they physical or emotional. We have access 24hrs to help. So many people are far less fortunate- and to be honest, so many good people die too young. So when im tempted to have a pity party and a cry (which is sometimes totally necessary!) i think about the younger people in my life who have died and try and live each of MY days to the fullest, to honour and respect these people.
I pray you find some relief, you sound like you have been in the wars for a long time, and as a fellow 'younger' person who has spent a lifetime being ill, i really do get where you are coming from. its like- are there better days ahead? thats how i cope. i have to have faith that something better lies instore for me.
blessings and peace always,
Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
" Why does society view illness as weakness?" (Montell Jordan)
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
-DX:Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ, Endometriosis,PCOS, Reactive Arthritis, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, OCD, SMD. GERD, IBS.
-Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Prescription pain meds/anti inflammatories.
-Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
-Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14.