I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I truly know how you feel; my husband can be very insensitive to my feelings and needs as well. He eventually comes around; but by then, the damage is done. And by damage, I mean the effect it has on health problems.
I can't offer much advice since I deal with a similar husband. But I can truly sympathize and empathize with you. It's difficult enough to deal with health problems. But we should be able to count on our family to be there for us both emotionally and physically. Just remember that you are a person with worth and value; you don't deserve to be treated like this. And the thing with the insurance is NOT your fault; he is being ambiguous about what he wants. And then he is turning around and unfairly blaming you.
Is there anyone else who can take you to your appointment? I hope you can get some sleep tonight and also hope that your husband comes around and apologizes to you soon.
Diagnosed with: seizure disorder in 1962; seizure-free since 1969, anorexia from 1968-1969; IBS-D in 1996, Mild depression, anxiety, & OCD in 2000, (probably had since childhood); PMDD in 2001, Dysfunctional tear syndrome in 2009; Meds: Phenobarbitol, Paxil, Allegra; Supplements: Citrucel tablets; many vitamins, minerals & herbs - too many to list here