hi duckky, my name is jamie, i am in australia, thus i do not know your school system that well. firstly you have done well coming here, and i feel that you have a lot going on, thus i suggest that you talk with a counsellor. your doc may be able to refer you to a counsellor/therapist, also a general check up may help as well. this way you can receive the right and best reatments sooner. i know that there is some excellent teen on-line sites that may help you as well. the thing is you can only change the things that can be changed, the others are out of your control. writing stuff done is good too, and is a good thing to take to your doc/counsellor as well.
i am sure that other members with more info will post soon. stay strong, i am sorry that your situation is rough at the moment, albeit there is always hope, and you have started this by reaching out. i admire your courage in doing so. things are tough in the world as it is, i know, but always remember that the sun always shines........even in the darkness. with loving compassion.
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.