I am feeling great, and loving life, but every day’s an adventure. The lady, Megan, has finally admitted she’s likely in a depression swing and is going to see a doctor about meds this week. It’s been rough, but I’m optimistic. She’s a loyal and caring lady, but this depression is making her unable to take joy in anything other than her dogs. I finally got mad, told her that she needs to get help, and walked out to spend the night at my mom’s… a tactic I never tried with Jo (my ex who was manic depressive and cheated on me).
She called me later, told me she was very sorry for the things she said, that she doesn’t know what’s happening, and that she’s going to get help. Years ago, an ex (several in fact, but this most recent one was worst) walked all over her, verbally and physically abusing her. Put her into a depression. She thought it was gone when she got out of that relationship, got treatment and felt better… but for whatever reason it came back about two months ago and has only gotten worse. She told me when it started, and said she’d be fine, but she can’t seem to climb out of it.
At least, after I finally grew a pair and told her she was being unfair to me and herself (not in those words, but rather "This isn't normal, and you know it."), she’s going to get some help. I didn’t expect this, when I fell for her, I didn’t know she had a history of depression. But at least she’s a loyal girlfriend… if she gets treatment, I can deal with a depressed person... But I will not and cannot deal with an abusive significant other, and I’ve made that clear to her too. I will stand by her side and support her through it all, but she has to try to get better. To want to get better.
Once she gets the depression under control, hopefully we’ll go back to being where we were before it landed. I’m anxious to find out if that’s possible.
When I go home tonight, how do I act? How should I behave from now until she gets the help and it starts to take effect?
EDIT: Let me make this a little clearer too. She's been blowing up at me lately for no real reason. The littlest things can set her off. Like not making a sexual advancement when she wants me to (even though she could show signs of this herself and help me know she's in the mood). This past weekend we were supposed to go the Browns game together and the day before was a lot of fun. But the evening found her in a terrible mood, out of nowhere, and while we tried to talk and I kept calm as she yelled... nothing was solved.
She told me that we should just sleep and she'd feel fine in the morning, but the sour mood towards me carried through the entire day, and when we got home from the rather miserable time at the game... she blew up when I asked her if it was cool that I run to my mom's house to fix her PC for her. She pulled no punches as she attacked me in the bedroom department, said that I shouldbe calling her a b**ch for acting like this but that I'm just a pushover for letting her say these things. I finally told her, "I'm going to my mom's. I need to get this done. Cool off, and know I love you."
She said, "Oh, so you just HAD TO ADD THAT!" Then I finally lost it. I went back, and "yelled" as much as someone like me is able. I told her, "Look, this isn't HARD, Megan. You're making it hard on yourself and us. If you're not feeling right, take initiative and go see a doctor!"
She called me later and we talked, cried, and I got some stuff to stay at my mom's to give her space. I was supposed to stay away all week, but she wants me back tonight. But she's not ready to talk about it all, she says... so how do I act while I wait for her to bring it up? <!-- google_ad_section_end -->
Was something copied from google into your post?
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 9/15/2009 4:15:38 PM (GMT-6)