Posted 10/20/2004 11:47 AM (GMT -8)
Hello everyone, im new here, but I have veiwed this site for 2years already beacuase my recenlty ex-fiance has crohn's disease. So I logged on to hear and feel what he went through so that I can help him. When I met hime almost 2 1/2 years ago, we took a trip to p/u medicine, and we were there for 4 hours ,while he received remicade, after that he could not be shy anymore, his family told me that he was always against beleiving in his disease so I learned and helped im in every way I can, through remicade side effects, 6mp, fistula's , ache and pains, head aches, depression,panic attacks, I was there with open arms and ready to fight this battle with him forever. Last christmas he prposed, I excepted, then I moved in (maybe too quick) he had been alone living for 10years, 8 out of those 10 years he had crohns, kidney stones, panic attacks, society anxiety, then came along maria, after all of that he found remicade to better him along with 6mp, 2 months before I came along he began feeling better, (I did not know this) he used to sleep backwards, and corrected him, I was his leaning shoulder through panic attacks. After I moved in, it was different because 30years I lived in a home, then I move in a building it was just different, alos for my ex because he never had anyone ther 24/7. I cooked evrynight (I'm italian), cleaned did it all while panning for may 2005 wedding. Then in july his dad(who abandoned) him and his twin 25yrs ago passed away. So I guided him through that then in aug. It's like lightning struck and he needed time alone, he said he missed out on a lot(he is 36yrs old) he did not want get married. Well, I went home 1/2 of my stuff still there. Anyway we work across from eachother as well. But, I tramatized my body through all of this that I'm now depressed, im on xanex for anxiety that when I talk to him my comes out of my ears, I shake like a wet dog, its scarey, my knees get numb and then I canot talk, along with xanex the dr. Gave me lexapro, I just started that. So you see I'm messed up, im alone,empty hearted, my 1,000 tear drops = such sorrow for my self that I dont know what to do. I did s/w some one, they didnt help. But this site brings me comfort. Thank you. Sorry for the long introduction. Please respond