Oh wow that post really hit a nerve. Im 29 and have similar feelings- i hate my body, i hate my weight, i hate myself for not being able to exercise control around food. When I finished high school at 18, i was 6ft tall and extremely slim. I left high school and while I was at college I modelled.
Then I had lots of surgery and illness that caused me to gain weight rapidly- and lots of it. It stopped me being the extrovert party girl. I hide away alot, i feel like people are looking at me going "wow, she let herself go!".
I truly hate what i look like. At the same time, i have to stop and be grateful for the good things in life. Im not living in a war torn country, or living in total poverty- in reality i am very lucky.
I recently got on the scales and was so devestated that i got myself a personal trainer and im enjoying that- im a high school teacher and my teen girl students battle with body image issues daily- what society (media/magazines/movies) portrays is that unless you are stick thin there is something wrong with you. This is NOT the case. I am certain you have so much more to offer than what you give yourself credit for.
As for hearing voices, I think you should really consider seeing a professional about this- you do sound depressed and miserable- a good therapist would probably be of huge benefit to you.
Welcome to HW, keep us posted. Dont give up, dont give in,
Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
" Why does society view illness as weakness?" (Montell Jordan)
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
-DX:Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Seasonal Depression, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ, Endometriosis,PCOS, Reactive Arthritis, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania,
OCD, GERD, IBS.
-Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Prescription pain meds/anti inflammatories.
-Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
-Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14.
Post Edited (Mazfire) : 9/20/2009 4:04:35 PM (GMT-6)