Im a high school teacher with mood disorders and I cope- I see my pyschiatrist and take my meds religiously. I wouldnt cope otherwise I dont think.
Im in no way judging you, but I cant fathom not being sober in the classroom- and wearing headphones and listening to music? Im sorry, I dont get that at all. I think you should consider rehab and use that time to evaluate what you want to do with your future- teaching sounds like it is a trigger for your anxiety, especially if it makes you anxious and panicky to the point of leaving the classroom to drink- surely you can see that this is not the way to handle your illness? Im sorry your colleagues have not been more supportive, but if I was caught with alcohol on my person or in my staffroom I would have been fired immedietly. No questions asked. Australia has a zero tolerance policy on alcohol on school premises.
Im not trying to be harsh, Im not. I know you are suffering and hurting and Im sorry. Maybe take a break and use the time to get into a good therapist, possible adjusting of meds & relaxation techniques etc- a time to gather your thoughts and decide exactly where your passion lies. Cos i think if you were passionate about teaching, your anxiety wouldnt manifest itself in the classroom and you wouldnt engage in anti-social behaviour (listening to music) in the classroom. Have you got a dream job you would like or another course you would like to study and pursue?
I wish you all the best and did not mean to sound judgemental-
Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
" Why does society view illness as weakness?" (Montell Jordan)
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
-DX:Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Seasonal Depression, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ, Endometriosis,PCOS, Reactive Arthritis, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania,
OCD, GERD, IBS.
-Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Prescription pain meds/anti inflammatories.
-Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
-Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14.